For as vague as this review was, at least he/she/it was polite and tried to outline what he/she/it thought was wrong.
As for the chapter, I've just re-read it, and I think that the scene in the classroom was very well done. We go from "Raven's" bored lusting after Wes to revulsion from the smell of rot. Dawn's reaction to Glory was spot on, and the portal sucking the offenders away was a nice touch.
The hospital scene could have been fleshed out a little more with descriptions of facial expressions and movements, but I've done enough marathon dialog scenes to know that it's not always practical. (And I've gotten some reviews that said "Hey you really need to have more descriptive stuff going on..." about said marathon dialog scenes)
Personally, I think that you shouldn't let this one review bother you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2005-03-24 01:38 pm (UTC)As for the chapter, I've just re-read it, and I think that the scene in the classroom was very well done. We go from "Raven's" bored lusting after Wes to revulsion from the smell of rot. Dawn's reaction to Glory was spot on, and the portal sucking the offenders away was a nice touch.
The hospital scene could have been fleshed out a little more with descriptions of facial expressions and movements, but I've done enough marathon dialog scenes to know that it's not always practical. (And I've gotten some reviews that said "Hey you really need to have more descriptive stuff going on..." about said marathon dialog scenes)
Personally, I think that you shouldn't let this one review bother you.