When choosing between two evils...

Happy hols. Things are finally calming down in my life enough so that I can talk. Several emails I have gotten over the last two weeks have made me realize I am not talking enough.

( the goods (and bads) )

My mother doesn't feel good. My brother is here and he's being whiny about the poison ivy. Puppy Draco wants to play - I have already let him out and played several times. No more. I am trying to scene. The phone keeps ringing. I am being pulled in several directions today. It's not good, and I feel like I might have a psychotic fit.

If anyone thinks to preach to me about what is under this cut, I'd think twice. I don't need any F-ing council on this. I feel how I feel, and there's no talking me back.

( #$%& )

So my mom might have cancer in her hip joint.

Not dead or anything. Happy Valentine's Day, bitches!

( my sweet fluffy Valentine's image for your holiday enjoyment )

I've been kinda emo about this whole diabetes and blood disorder thing. Didn't figure anyone would like to read me whine about that, so no posting. I haven't written ANYTHING since right before I went to the hospital. That's the most disturbing thing for me. I have PLENTY to work on. Nothing. No sparks. No inspiration. No muse. Damn. Two weeks (I think) and no words. I haven't gone this long without writing SOMETHING in well over five years. It's a little scary.

tthjinni, star1sar, and orion777, please check the user info for your LJ. *wicked grin* I got you guyses something.

In other news, puppy Draco is a little turd. ( Me bitching )

I really do not want to be at work today. It hurts to be awake, you know? Every time someone asks me how I am, I feel like screaming "SHITTY! My aunt who I saw like almost every damn day just died on Staurday, how the F do you think I feel?!". But that would be rude. I just don't feel like being out in the world today. I'd rather be under a blanket in my bed.

I did have a very funny conversation on the phone with tthjinni on my lunch break. Did you guyses know that Legolas's ears possess magical powers that keep his hair from getting mussed even though he's been running for DAYS and SLEEPING ON THE GROUND? Yeah.

Several, several things today.

First, let me welcome mama_terra's new baby Angela Rose into the world as of Monday. Congrats!

Second. big hugs to satyrnfive and bigger hugs to tthjinni. You guys are both gonna be all right. You know this. It just might take time. Until then, you both know where to find me.

( Even more, come on in, have a looksee... )

Still here.

Flist, if I have missed anything terribly important that you've babbled about this week in your LJ, please let me know. My season 2 Veronica Mars came today. Good. I needed a Logan fix. Logan is good balm. Logan is just... well, you know... Logan.

Mom's doing better. She's not great, naturally, but she's better. She has a strep infection in her blood. Endocarditis. It has caused emboli in her brain (mini strokes). She is going to have to do six weeks of antibiotics and some rehab. I've had to have a will and a power of attourney drawn up. I've had to have myself put on her account. I paid some bills today. It's freaky. I've never in my life made a mortgage payment. I did today.

tsorriana I got your flowers today. I apprecited it so much. Gerber daisies are some of my favorites. I put them in a vase in the kitchen windows. Thank you. That was a nice surprise.

I am wiped though. I slept a little in the recliner at the hospital earlier, but I can't focus and I feel like warm ass. I am getting some sleep tonight.

Well, I survived quite possibly the worst weekend ever.

My mother is in the hospital. I thought I was going to lose her. She is stable now, but she's still not doing as good as i would like. I may not be online for the next few days. I won't go into the laundry list of things that are wrong with her because frankly I don't feel like going there. I'm tired. I've cried a lot, and I'm having to truly consider the fact that I might lose my mother in the near future. It's not pleasant, and I am not dealing well with it at all. I'm holding up, but sometimes I break down and get really emotional about it. We finally get along reasonably well. I am not ready to be without her. I don't think I'll ever really be ready, but I'm REALLY not ready just now.

I'm going to lie down. Watch some werewolf Ben, as I got Underworld Evolutionon DVD on Friday. Those of you who have my cell or home number, no need to call tonight. I'm suitably all right. I just need some alone time. Plus, I have talked on the phone quite a lot today. I know some of you won't stand for that, but you'll just have to, ok? I really do want to be by myself for a few hours. I need a little quiet. Just a moment's peace.