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spankerellaI found this in some of my documents when I was doing a bit of housecleaning. I don't know why I have it or even did it to begin with. It's a collection of Firefly quotes with key words changed to the variations of the word pants. Just thought I'd share.
*~*~*
"Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil pants! Now die!"
"Kaylee, what the hell's going on in the engine room? Were there pants? Some terrifying space pants maybe got loose?"
"Sorry, Dad. The Independents attacked us with pants."
"They weren't pants inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky, and they remember what they are."
"Dear Diary. Today I was pompous, and my sister was pantsed. Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."
"Uh, hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hangin' around playin' art critic 'til I get pantsed by the man, how's about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work and get along with our increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"
"To Jayne. The pants-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong thing."
"River, honey, he's putting the pants away now."
"Smells like pants."
"I was there, son. I'm fair sure you haven't pantsed anyone yet."
"Also, I can kill you with my pants. "
"Alright. Now you care to explain why it is you got yourself all pantsed and mailed to me?"
"Were I unwed, I would pants you in a manly fashion."
"Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the pants."
"Someone ever tries to pants you, you try to pants 'em right back!"
"It's been a while, a long damn while, since anybody but me took a hold of my pants, so don't think for a second that I'm not interested."
"That's why I never kiss them on the pants."
"Captain, don't you know kissing pants makes you sleepy?"
*~*~*
Sometimes I wonder about myself.
*~*~*
"Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil pants! Now die!"
"Kaylee, what the hell's going on in the engine room? Were there pants? Some terrifying space pants maybe got loose?"
"Sorry, Dad. The Independents attacked us with pants."
"They weren't pants inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky, and they remember what they are."
"Dear Diary. Today I was pompous, and my sister was pantsed. Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."
"Uh, hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hangin' around playin' art critic 'til I get pantsed by the man, how's about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work and get along with our increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"
"To Jayne. The pants-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong thing."
"River, honey, he's putting the pants away now."
"Smells like pants."
"I was there, son. I'm fair sure you haven't pantsed anyone yet."
"Also, I can kill you with my pants. "
"Alright. Now you care to explain why it is you got yourself all pantsed and mailed to me?"
"Were I unwed, I would pants you in a manly fashion."
"Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the pants."
"Someone ever tries to pants you, you try to pants 'em right back!"
"It's been a while, a long damn while, since anybody but me took a hold of my pants, so don't think for a second that I'm not interested."
"That's why I never kiss them on the pants."
"Captain, don't you know kissing pants makes you sleepy?"
*~*~*
Sometimes I wonder about myself.
