crazy French

I heard from Steph!

Anyone who was on Eternal Angel, that should mean something to you. She's still in Canada. Doing ok. She left her job to go back to school. Just got internet back. It brought back so many memrories of EA reading her mail. I was so different then. Was it really only 3 years since I'd spoken to her? She worried that her English in the email wasn't proper enough. LOL. It was a silly thing for her to worry about. She thinks her English is suffering since she has no one to speak it to anymore. She misses the group. I gave her the new link and told her to stop by. I had to tell her about me and Mike. Goddess, that was tough. She was friends with both of us. In fact, I think she mailed Mike more than me. It just took me back... to a couple of places I had forgotten... and to a few others I wanted to forget.

I worry that I'm not the same echo she left. In fact, I know I'm not. What if I don't suit her now? I know I shouldn't care, but Steph was seriously there from the beginning. Honestly, she was one of my first die-hard fans. She was the first person I think I really believed when she told me my work meant something to her. You know what one of the first things she did when she got back online was? Hunted down Getting Cookies. Three years and I was still in her mind. That's certainly enough to make a girl humble... and not to mention a little weepy. I mean, how in the hell did someone like ME get so damn important? I don't understand it. Why am I so damn special? I do one thing, ONE THING, really well. Is that enough? I guess for some people it is. I guess I just never realized that I could mean something, be about something.

Goddess above... I'm about something.

I have an effect.

I talk, and people listen.

Fuck.

There has to be a better word for what I'm feeling. Humble doesn't quite cut it. I know this might seem weird to a few of you, but I am in awe of my own worth right now. I'm about something. It never sunk in before.

fandom scruples?

Has anyone else heard about this crap? Go to fandom_scruples to check it out. I think it's not half bad in the general form of the idea, but I just think they're going about it all wrong. If you want to make changes like the kinds they're wanting, you need to be nicer. Less zealot, because I get a very zealot feel from this. And boycotts? Goddess. It's just so square and prudish. I almost want to write some nasty smut and post it here without a cut away. I curse in my journal. Does that count? Let's see...

fuck

*looks around for the 'scruple police'*

I have naughty bits posted to my website, but I do have warnings on them. I believe age is a state of mind not of body. If someone is mature enough to handle it, I say let 'em handle. I don't think tossing up a list of writers to point accusing fingers at is the way to go. I think people should be able to post what they want in their lj... especially if they're paying for it. Also, posting that list like that... it just lets everyone know where to find the smut. (insert sarcasm here) Thanks for all the links to the porn! *thumbs up* Good job! I just think there are better causes to fight for.

Remove knickers, untwist, redress. Repeat as needed.