Aye! Avast!
Sep. 19th, 2005 01:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spankerellaAhoy, maties! Avast, ya scurvy knaves! It's INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY! ARRR!
Meme and translator link snagged from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
empressvesica.
My pirate name is:
Iron Ethel Flint
A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.
Wonder if I'm related to Marcus? If he was decended of pirates, that would certainly make all sorts of sense, wouldn't it?
And now for some REAL fun. Here's The chapter entitled "The Third Hand" from "A Drop in the Ocean"... translated into pirate-speak via this site...
http://www.mediocreminds.com/content.php?articleID=160
The original text can be located here...
http://willowslilsecret.net/ctf/eFiction1.1/viewstory.php?sid=203&i=1
*~* The Third Hand *~*
"I have t' go." She whispered.
Sirius blinked as the lass slipped under 'is arms 'n tried t' run off. (Sail ho!) "Wait." He snarled as he grabbed her wrist in a harsh grip.
"I hafta... (Blimey!) h-have t' go."
"Yer name bein' Tara doesn't tell me who ye be, lass."
"It's Tara Maclay. (Gangway!) I'm from America. (AAARRGGHHH!) California, specifically. (Bloody landlubber!) I'm Remus Lupin 'n Elizabeth Belladonna's daughter. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) I teach at Hogwart's." She glanced at her watch. (Arrgh!) "Now let me go."
"So ye be Harry's Tara."
"Harry? (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) How..."
"I'm 'is godfather. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) We keep in touch."
"Did ye know ye're mine too?" She smirked 'n yanked her wrist out o' 'is grasp before runnin' off.
Sirius stood stunned. (Bloody privateers!) He just wasn't sure what t' think 'bout her. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) Thar was such an odd mixture o' thin's t' her. (Yarrr, more grog, wench!) She stopped 'bout twenty feet from him 'n turned. (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) He was her godfather too?
"It was, um, nice t' finally meet ye."
Sirius grinned in a manner that he'd had nay occasion for in a long while - wolfishly. (AAARRGGHHH!) So he had a goddaughter. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) 'n Remus had never seen fit t' tell him this? (Blimey!) Not that they had chances for long talks or anythin'.
"The pleasure was all mine, Tara." Sirius blinked. (Yo-ho-ho!) Good God man, ye did not just start flirtin' with a lass who could be yer daughter. (Weigh anchor!) A lass who was in fact the daughter o' one o' 'is dearest buckos. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) Remus would likely tear him limb from limb for even lookin' at her like that for a millisecond - even if she did look so much like Ellie it in Davy's Grip the hell out o' him. (Dead men tell no tales.) He shook 'is head t' clear it.
When Sirius looked up, she was gone. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) He transfigured himself aft into non-human form. (Aaarrrrhhh!) He needed t' find Harry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry was 'bout as nervous as any fifteen year old lad could ever hope t' be. (Shiver me timbers!) Ginny kept touchin' him! (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) 'n not in a friendly way. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) He was gettin' decidedly uncomfortable. (Yarrr, more grog, wench!) It seemed like she was doin' it on accident, but not. (Yaaarrrr!) He had thought she really liked Malfoy. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) He had thought she was finally over her 'thin'' with him. (Weigh anchor!) Harry liked Ginny. (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) He really did. (Aaarrrrhhh!) She was hearty. (Yo-ho-ho!) He just didn't LIKE Ginny. (Weigh anchor!) She was like Hermione t' him. (Yaaarrrr!) Buckos. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) Sisters. (Bilge!) Nothin', absolutely nothin', more.
So when the toe o' her shoe went up 'is pants leg, Harry nearly screamed. (Blimey!) He did, however, jerk really hard, bumpin' the table 'n nearly spillin' their butterbeer.
"Somethin' the matter, Harry?" Ginny purred.
Her voice hit him starboard in the spine like a thousand prickles. (Blimey!) How did she do that? (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) Where did she learn t' do that? (Aarhh!) Harry jumped t' 'is feet. (Aaarrrrhhh!) He was wound tight as a sprin'.
"I, uh.... (AAARRGGHHH!) have t' go t' the loo!" He practically screamed.
"Thanks for sharin', Potter!" Someone called, laughin'.
Harry ran off. (Dead men tell no tales.) Ginny could only assume t' talk t' Ron 'n Hermione, who she had not seen all afternoon. (Dead men tell no tales.) They were probably hidin' under Harry's invisibility cloak followin' Harry 'n herself. (Blimey!) Ginny grinned a bit. (Bilge!) She looked across Three Broomsticks 'n caught Fred 'n George's deadlights. (Gangway!) Fred gave her a 'thumbs up'.
Just then Oliver 'n Draco walked in. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) They took a booth not too far from the one Ginny was in. (AAARRHH!!!) Draco looked at her. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) She winked at him. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) Draco smiled evilly.
Meanwhile Harry was havin' fits in the rest room.
"Ron, I can't do this anymore!"
"O' course ye can."
"Nay, Ron!"
"Will ye avast shoutin'?"
Harry started t' pace the rest room frantically while runnin' 'is hands through 'is hair makin' it look even wilder than before.
"She went with ye, didn't she? (Weigh anchor!) Must not like Malfoy was much as we thought. (Weigh anchor!) Maybe he was just t' practice on. (AAARRGGHHH!) Though I don't know why she can't pick a Gryffindor t' practice on. (Aarhh!) Like Seamus or Dean. (Yo-ho-ho!) Or, hell, even Longbottom."
"Do ye hear yerself?" Harry 'issed. (Yaaarrrr!) "This be yer sister ye're talkin' 'bout!"
"A sister I will not have prancin' 'bout with some ferret-y bastard."
"Ron!" Hermione snapped.
"I know! (Aarhh!) Don't swear!" Ron looked aft at Harry. (Gangway!) "Look, it's not like she's ugly or anythin', starboard?"
"Ron, I just don't think 'bout Ginny that way."
"Come on, Harry. (Yo-ho-ho!) How bad can it be?"
"She stuck her foot up me bloody trousers!"
Hermione gasped. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!)
Ron's face went splotchy. (AAARRGGHHH!) "She... (Arrgh!) did... (AAARRRRHHH!!!) what?"
"She put her toes up me trou, Ron!" Harry whispered urgently. (AAARRGGHHH!) "I've never known Gin t' be so fore. (Weigh anchor!) She usually can't even talk t' a lad without blushin', but she's been 'accidentally' touchin' me all day. (Weigh anchor!) 'n not in very appropriate places! (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) It's really startin' t' freak me out!" He was almost in a blind panic now.
Ron was stuck between wantin' t' slap Harry for actin' like some sort o' hysterical poppet 'n wantin' t' throttle 'is little sister for bein' so brazen. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) First Malfoy, now attemptin' t' grope Harry in public.
"Holy cricket!" Hermione said. (Gangway!) "She's bloody brilliant.... (AAARRGGHHH!) 'n slightly vile."
"What?" Both lads said.
"Ginny's gettin' ye both aft for tryin' t' mess with her mind. (Blimey!) Don't ye see?"
They both looked at her in confusion.
"Oh good Lord, how can ye both be so thick? (Shiver me timbers!) Ginny would never behave the way she has been behavin', correct? (Weigh anchor!) 'n she was fairly upset 'bout this whole thin', correct? (Bilge!) She's tryin' t' scare ye witless, Harry, 'n Ron, she's tryin' t' make ye think she's some sort o' scarlet poppet or somethin'."
Ron scowled. (Bloody privateers!) Harry was shocked. (Arrgh!) Sweet Ginny was messin' with him on purpose? (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) It was an act? (Sink me!) Damn, she should join the theatre.
"I mean, look at the both o' ye.... (Bilge!) Ron, ye were gettin' all worked up, 'n ye, Harry, were dancin' 'bout like yer bum was on fire."
"One more pinch t' it, 'n it might have been." Harry mumbled.
Ron glared at him.
"She even had me gaspin'. (Blimey!) This round t' Ginny, I say." Hermione said shakin' her head.
Ron got an vile look in 'is eye.
"Whatever ye're thinkin'... (Dead men tell no tales.) nay." Harry said.
"We can't let her win, Harry."
"Nay, Ron."
"Just a little payback for the way she had ye jumpin' out o' yer skin."
"Nay, Ron."
"In Davy's Grip, Harry?"
"Ye wish."
"Then I say go aft out thar 'n mess aft."
"Ron, ye do realize this be yer baby sister, starboard? (Sink me!) Ye do realize ye're tellin' me t' go out thar 'n put the moves on Ginny, starboard?"
"I trust ye."
Harry rolled 'is deadlights.
Hermione groaned. (Aarhh!) "This be goin' t' end badly."
Ron smirked. (Dead men tell no tales.) "Aye, for Ginny."
Harry groaned 'n took a deep breath. (Aarhh!) He didn't know how in the hell he was goin' t' get through this. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) He further didn't know how he allowed Ron t' talk him into it in the first place.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry looked decidedly more calm when he returned t' the booth Ginny was waitin' in. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) She was smilin' triumphantly. (Yo-ho-ho!) She had winked at Tara when she had come in earlier 'n sat with Oliver 'n Draco. (Blimey!) Ginny was feelin' very sure o' herself.
Until Harry slid into the space next t' her instead o' across like before. (AAARRHH!!!) Her deadlights widened a bit fearfully before she closed off her features. (Blimey!) What in the heck was Harry Potter doin'? (AAARRHH!!!) He leaned in very close t' her 'n started... (Arrgh!) smellin' her hair? (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) Ginny's deadlights shot frantically t' Draco's. (Blimey!) He looked like an offended hippogriff - 'bout ready t' charge.
Harry leaned over her a bit more. (Yaaarrrr!) 'is arm moved over the aft o' the booth 'n behind her. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) Ginny started t' panic. (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) Maybe she should not have done this. (AAARRHH!!!) He hadn't said anythin'. (Arrgh!) He just kept givin' her this look. (AAARRHH!!!) This very un-Harry look.
"Sorry I ran off earlier." He whispered in her ear. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) "Won't happen again."
Harry was tremblin' inside. (Arrgh!) He so did not want t' do this. (Aarhh!) In a bold move, he did somethin' he never thought he'd ever do t' Ginny - he let 'is lips graze over her pulse point.
Ginny gasped 'n jumped when she felt Harry's lips on her neck. (Weigh anchor!) Oh nay. (Yo-ho-ho!) She then looked nervously at Fred 'n George, who were scowlin' at Harry intently. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) She looked aft t' Draco. (Weigh anchor!) He was glarin' cutlasss. (Bilge!) He rose slowly from 'is seat 'n started towards 'em with murder in 'is gray deadlights. (Weigh anchor!) Ginny didn't know what t' do. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) Harry was kissin' her neck, 'n Draco looked like he was goin' t' kill 'em both.
She nearly breathed a sigh o' relief when Fred 'n George intercepted Draco before he could get t' her 'n Harry. (Bilge!) They had a little whispered argument, when suddenly Draco's deadlights went wide in some sort o' understandin'. (Aarhh!) Fred 'n George each patted him on the shoulders 'n went t' sit with Wood 'n Tara t' have a better view o' the scene.
As Draco got closer he mouthed somethin' t' Ginny.
He's just messin' with you
She hoped she was the only one who saw. (Aaarrrrhhh!) Ginny's temper flared a bit. (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) Who did Harry Potter think he was? (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) He wouldn't be the lad who lived for long if he thought t' outlast her in a battle o' wills. (Gangway!) She had six older brothers. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) She could stand in the eye o' a storm 'n come out unwinded.
Harry jerked a bit when he felt one o' Ginny's hands go into the aft o' 'is hair. (Sink me!) Oh nay. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) Nay! (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) He could take doin' this if she was goin' t' sit stiff as a statue 'n be all freaked out, but not if she was respondin'. (Shiver me timbers!) He couldn't handle respondin'. (Bloody landlubber!) That's when he noticed both her hands were in her lap. (Blimey!) Harry froze 'n bolted upright a bit. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) Who the bloody hell was massagin' 'is scalp then?!
Draco ground 'is teeth. (Yaaarrrr!) He was doin' this for Ginny. (Aaarrrrhhh!) For Ginny, he kept tellin' himself. (Sail ho!) He was crin'in' as he ran a hand through Potter's hair. (AAARRHH!!!) He couldn't believe the dolt still hadn't figured out it wasn't Ginny's hand on 'is head. (Dead men tell no tales.) Suddenly Harry jerked aft a bit. (Bloody landlubber!) He seemed a little freaked out 'bout somethin'. (Weigh anchor!) Likely the third hand. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) Draco moved in for the kill.
"Ahoy, Potter." He 'issed in a sensual tone usually reserved for Ginny before nippin' the aft o' Harry's neck with 'is teeth.
Draco had never seen anyone move like that. (Sail ho!) Harry screamed loudly 'n scrambled across the table, knockin' the mugs o' butterbeer just every which way. (Sail ho!) Ginny instantly started gigglin' wickedly 'n licked her lips at Harry.
Harry pointed at Malfoy. (Yo-ho-ho!) "Ye... (Aaarrrrhhh!) ye..."
"Find ye undeniably saucy, Potter. (Arrgh!) Aye. (Sink me!) We both do." Draco said with a sneer as he draped 'is arm 'round Ginny. (Aarhh!) Potter looked completely horrified. (Yo-ho-ho!) It was all Draco could do not t' laugh. (Yaaarrrr!) "We want ye t' be the first person we have a naughty sex tryst with. (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) Ye know, just the three o' us."
Harry gaped. (AAARRGGHHH!) Oh me God. (Yaaarrrr!) Draco Malfoy had perverted Ginny. (Gangway!) 'n they... (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) wanted him? (Dead men tell no tales.) Both o' 'em? (Aarhh!) Harry felt sick. (Bilge!) Ron 'n Hermione suddenly became quite visible in the booth next t' 'em that had been seemin'ly empty.
Ron stormed over 'n pointed at Malfoy. (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) "What have ye done t' me sister, ye perverted bastard?! (Dead men tell no tales.) 'n ye licked Harry! (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) Ye're sick, Malfoy!"
"I did not lick him, Weasley. (Shiver me timbers!) I gave a him a little love bite."
Harry went pale. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) Ron started sputterin'.
Draco busted out laughin'. (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) He couldn't contain himself any longer. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) Ginny had been titterin' the entire time. (Yo-ho-ho!) Fred 'n George were howlin' with laughter 'n fallin' all over 'emselves. (Bloody landlubber!) Tara 'n Oliver were doin' a fair amount o' gigglin' as well.
"Ye... (Shiver me timbers!) should... (Yaaarrrr!) see... (Dead men tell no tales.) yer... (The chase is making full sail, matey!) faces." Draco gasped between gales o' laughter.
"Ye... (Aarhh!) ye were kiddin'?" Harry said with more than a little hopeful tone in 'is voice.
"Nay." Draco said somberly as he traced 'is foot up Harry's pant leg.
Harry squealed in horror, pullin' 'is legs up into the seat.
Draco died laughin' again. (Shiver me timbers!) "OF COURSE, I'm jokin', Potter." Draco rolled 'is deadlights. (Aarhh!) "I'd try t' fuck a blast ended skrewt before I'd try makin' it with ye."
Ginny was laughin' so hard now that her deadlights were waterin'.
"Ginny, that was so not very nice. (Bloody privateers!) I'm tellin' mum." Ron said.
"Ye go starboard ahead. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) I'll just tell her what Harry did t' me."
"Ron, ye be not t' owl yer mum 'bout this incident... (Gangway!) EVER." Harry said in an overly even tone.
"What did ye do?"
Harry blushed furiously as Ron glared at him. (Arrgh!) "Ye TOLD me t', Ron!"
Draco sat up a bit. (Bloody privateers!) 'is hand moved from the aft o' the booth t' rest on Ginny's shoulder. (Dead men tell no tales.) "Look, all jokin' aside, that's what ye bilge rats get for tryin' t' mess with me lass's heart 'n mind. (Blimey!) She likes me, 'n ye all can bloody well jump in the damn lake for all I care. (Aaarrrrhhh!) 'n Potter, ye keep yer soddin' lips t' yerself, or I'll thrash ye."
Harry gave a shiver. (Weigh anchor!) "As long as ye keep yers t' yerself."
"Technically, it was me teeth, Potter."
Harry gave another shiver o' distaste.
"But definitely. (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) I will keep me mouth quite far from any part o' ye in the future, o' that ye can be sure." Draco rolled 'is deadlights before lookin' at Ginny. (Yo-ho-ho!) "Which reminds me... (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) I need t' get the Potter taste out o' me mouth."
She blushed darkly 'n leaned up t' kiss him. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) She was still reelin' from the fact that Draco Malfoy had called her 'is lass.
Ron made a grab for 'em only t' be stopped by Fred 'n George. (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) They waited for Ginny 'n Draco t' separate before speakin'.
"Good show, Malfoy." George said.
"Aye." Fred agreed. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) "High marks. (Bilge!) Ye too, Gin. (Yo-ho-ho!) I thought poor Harry was goin' t' shit himself in terror for a moment."
"Ye two were in on this?" Harry snapped.
Fred 'n George just grinned at him.
"Oh thanks a lot." Harry muttered. (Yarrr, more grog, wench!) "Identical bloody bastards."
"Will ye all kindly avast swearin'?!" Hermione snapped.
"Shut her up." Fred sighed starboard before shovin' Ron up against Hermione.
Hermione stumbled a bit, but caught herself. (Bloody privateers!) She was leaned aft over one o' the tables a little with Ron very much leaned over her. (Bloody privateers!) He had used a hand t' catch himself on the table as well. (Yo-ho-ho!) Their faces ended up bein' 'bout three inches apart. (Aarhh!) Her breath seemed t' catch in her throat.
"What?" Ron snapped glarin' at 'is brother.
"Geez, Ron, thick aren't we? (Aaarrrrhhh!) Give her mouth somethin' ELSE t' do."
Ron turned bright red, as did Hermione.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Willow was in their room when Tara got aft for Hogsmeade.
"Hey." Willow said nervously. (AAARRGGHHH!) "Did ye have fun today?"
"Ye have NAY idea." Tara said as she flopped aft on her bed.
Spike the bat started squawkin' at the fact that 'is mistress had not even paid attention t' him as o' yet.
"Needy fella, aren't ye?" Tara said as she rose again 'n grabbed a banana from her small store o' fruit for Spike. (Yo-ho-ho!) She peeled it 'n began feedin' the bat. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) She looked at Willow. (Yo-ho-ho!) "How be ye doin'?"
"Better." Willow sighed 'n sat down on her bed. (Blimey!) "I'm really sorry."
"It's ok."
"It's really not."
"Willow, nobody's even talkin' 'bout it today. (Shiver me timbers!) They understand. (Weigh anchor!) T' whole filthy lot o' 'em loses it every once in a while."
"But I-"
"Enough. (Aaarrrrhhh!) Ye'd be surprised by the support system ye've already got goin' on 'round here."
"But-"
"Willow, ye're gonna be all starboard. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) Nay one's mad at ye. (Gangway!) In fact, poor Ron was all twisted up because he though it was all 'is fault."
"Oh nay." Willow got up 'n started yankin' on her shoes.
"What be ye doin'?"
"I have t' talk t' Ron. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) This was so not 'is fault."
"Relax. (Sink me!) It's been taken care o'."
"What?"
"I already talked t' Ron. (Yaaarrrr!) It's fine."
"Thank ye."
"Ye never have t' thank me for lookin' out for ye, Will."
"Thank ye anyway."
Tara smiled. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) "Be ye comin' down t' dinner? (Shiver me timbers!) Oliver missed ye today."
"Oliver? (Aarhh!) But he-"
"He's not mad. (Weigh anchor!) Just a little worried. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) Like all o' us."
"All?"
"Why be it so hard for ye t' believe that people care 'bout ye?" Tara paused. (Bilge!) "Despite yer few small flaws."
"I wouldn't exactly call gettin' all hopped up on angry dark magic a small flaw."
"Look, nay more mopin'. (Weigh anchor!) Ye're comin' down t' dinner with me. (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) Then we be goin' t' the Gryffindor common room."
"What?"
"We were invited t' join the Gryffs for a little aft dinner entertainment."
"Ye make it sound so shady. (Sail ho!) Thar's not a stripper, be thar?"
"Would that be a problem for ye?"
"Be it a poppet stripper or a male stripper? (Arrgh!) Not that either wouldn't be ok."
"Ye're very naughty today."
"Can't help it. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) I spent half o' it in Snape's lap."
Tara gaped.
"Sleepin'!" Willow added with a blush as Anakin jumped on her bed 'n began rubbin' her arm.
Tara laughed as she pulled Willow up off her bed with both hands. (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) "Come on, Naughty Red."
Willow pulled a sweatshirt over her cami fore 'n pajama pants. (AAARRHH!!!) It was an old one o' Xander's that she'd borrowed 'n never returned. (Arrgh!) It was maroon 'n said Sunnydale High School in faded yellow letterin' across the fore. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) It matched her plaid flannel pajama pants perfectly. (Shiver me timbers!) She pulled her hair up into a ponytail 'n followed Tara out o' the room.
"So what happened in Hogsmeade today?" Willow asked as they started down the stairs. (Sail ho!) "I miss anythin' good?"
Tara started laughin'.
"What?"
****
And if you read all of that, I think you need a good walking of the plank.
Meme and translator link snagged from
empressvesica.My pirate name is:
Iron Ethel Flint
A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.
Wonder if I'm related to Marcus? If he was decended of pirates, that would certainly make all sorts of sense, wouldn't it?
And now for some REAL fun. Here's The chapter entitled "The Third Hand" from "A Drop in the Ocean"... translated into pirate-speak via this site...
http://www.mediocreminds.com/content.php?articleID=160
The original text can be located here...
http://willowslilsecret.net/ctf/eFiction1.1/viewstory.php?sid=203&i=1
*~* The Third Hand *~*
"I have t' go." She whispered.
Sirius blinked as the lass slipped under 'is arms 'n tried t' run off. (Sail ho!) "Wait." He snarled as he grabbed her wrist in a harsh grip.
"I hafta... (Blimey!) h-have t' go."
"Yer name bein' Tara doesn't tell me who ye be, lass."
"It's Tara Maclay. (Gangway!) I'm from America. (AAARRGGHHH!) California, specifically. (Bloody landlubber!) I'm Remus Lupin 'n Elizabeth Belladonna's daughter. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) I teach at Hogwart's." She glanced at her watch. (Arrgh!) "Now let me go."
"So ye be Harry's Tara."
"Harry? (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) How..."
"I'm 'is godfather. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) We keep in touch."
"Did ye know ye're mine too?" She smirked 'n yanked her wrist out o' 'is grasp before runnin' off.
Sirius stood stunned. (Bloody privateers!) He just wasn't sure what t' think 'bout her. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) Thar was such an odd mixture o' thin's t' her. (Yarrr, more grog, wench!) She stopped 'bout twenty feet from him 'n turned. (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) He was her godfather too?
"It was, um, nice t' finally meet ye."
Sirius grinned in a manner that he'd had nay occasion for in a long while - wolfishly. (AAARRGGHHH!) So he had a goddaughter. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) 'n Remus had never seen fit t' tell him this? (Blimey!) Not that they had chances for long talks or anythin'.
"The pleasure was all mine, Tara." Sirius blinked. (Yo-ho-ho!) Good God man, ye did not just start flirtin' with a lass who could be yer daughter. (Weigh anchor!) A lass who was in fact the daughter o' one o' 'is dearest buckos. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) Remus would likely tear him limb from limb for even lookin' at her like that for a millisecond - even if she did look so much like Ellie it in Davy's Grip the hell out o' him. (Dead men tell no tales.) He shook 'is head t' clear it.
When Sirius looked up, she was gone. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) He transfigured himself aft into non-human form. (Aaarrrrhhh!) He needed t' find Harry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry was 'bout as nervous as any fifteen year old lad could ever hope t' be. (Shiver me timbers!) Ginny kept touchin' him! (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) 'n not in a friendly way. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) He was gettin' decidedly uncomfortable. (Yarrr, more grog, wench!) It seemed like she was doin' it on accident, but not. (Yaaarrrr!) He had thought she really liked Malfoy. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) He had thought she was finally over her 'thin'' with him. (Weigh anchor!) Harry liked Ginny. (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) He really did. (Aaarrrrhhh!) She was hearty. (Yo-ho-ho!) He just didn't LIKE Ginny. (Weigh anchor!) She was like Hermione t' him. (Yaaarrrr!) Buckos. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) Sisters. (Bilge!) Nothin', absolutely nothin', more.
So when the toe o' her shoe went up 'is pants leg, Harry nearly screamed. (Blimey!) He did, however, jerk really hard, bumpin' the table 'n nearly spillin' their butterbeer.
"Somethin' the matter, Harry?" Ginny purred.
Her voice hit him starboard in the spine like a thousand prickles. (Blimey!) How did she do that? (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) Where did she learn t' do that? (Aarhh!) Harry jumped t' 'is feet. (Aaarrrrhhh!) He was wound tight as a sprin'.
"I, uh.... (AAARRGGHHH!) have t' go t' the loo!" He practically screamed.
"Thanks for sharin', Potter!" Someone called, laughin'.
Harry ran off. (Dead men tell no tales.) Ginny could only assume t' talk t' Ron 'n Hermione, who she had not seen all afternoon. (Dead men tell no tales.) They were probably hidin' under Harry's invisibility cloak followin' Harry 'n herself. (Blimey!) Ginny grinned a bit. (Bilge!) She looked across Three Broomsticks 'n caught Fred 'n George's deadlights. (Gangway!) Fred gave her a 'thumbs up'.
Just then Oliver 'n Draco walked in. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) They took a booth not too far from the one Ginny was in. (AAARRHH!!!) Draco looked at her. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) She winked at him. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) Draco smiled evilly.
Meanwhile Harry was havin' fits in the rest room.
"Ron, I can't do this anymore!"
"O' course ye can."
"Nay, Ron!"
"Will ye avast shoutin'?"
Harry started t' pace the rest room frantically while runnin' 'is hands through 'is hair makin' it look even wilder than before.
"She went with ye, didn't she? (Weigh anchor!) Must not like Malfoy was much as we thought. (Weigh anchor!) Maybe he was just t' practice on. (AAARRGGHHH!) Though I don't know why she can't pick a Gryffindor t' practice on. (Aarhh!) Like Seamus or Dean. (Yo-ho-ho!) Or, hell, even Longbottom."
"Do ye hear yerself?" Harry 'issed. (Yaaarrrr!) "This be yer sister ye're talkin' 'bout!"
"A sister I will not have prancin' 'bout with some ferret-y bastard."
"Ron!" Hermione snapped.
"I know! (Aarhh!) Don't swear!" Ron looked aft at Harry. (Gangway!) "Look, it's not like she's ugly or anythin', starboard?"
"Ron, I just don't think 'bout Ginny that way."
"Come on, Harry. (Yo-ho-ho!) How bad can it be?"
"She stuck her foot up me bloody trousers!"
Hermione gasped. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!)
Ron's face went splotchy. (AAARRGGHHH!) "She... (Arrgh!) did... (AAARRRRHHH!!!) what?"
"She put her toes up me trou, Ron!" Harry whispered urgently. (AAARRGGHHH!) "I've never known Gin t' be so fore. (Weigh anchor!) She usually can't even talk t' a lad without blushin', but she's been 'accidentally' touchin' me all day. (Weigh anchor!) 'n not in very appropriate places! (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) It's really startin' t' freak me out!" He was almost in a blind panic now.
Ron was stuck between wantin' t' slap Harry for actin' like some sort o' hysterical poppet 'n wantin' t' throttle 'is little sister for bein' so brazen. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) First Malfoy, now attemptin' t' grope Harry in public.
"Holy cricket!" Hermione said. (Gangway!) "She's bloody brilliant.... (AAARRGGHHH!) 'n slightly vile."
"What?" Both lads said.
"Ginny's gettin' ye both aft for tryin' t' mess with her mind. (Blimey!) Don't ye see?"
They both looked at her in confusion.
"Oh good Lord, how can ye both be so thick? (Shiver me timbers!) Ginny would never behave the way she has been behavin', correct? (Weigh anchor!) 'n she was fairly upset 'bout this whole thin', correct? (Bilge!) She's tryin' t' scare ye witless, Harry, 'n Ron, she's tryin' t' make ye think she's some sort o' scarlet poppet or somethin'."
Ron scowled. (Bloody privateers!) Harry was shocked. (Arrgh!) Sweet Ginny was messin' with him on purpose? (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) It was an act? (Sink me!) Damn, she should join the theatre.
"I mean, look at the both o' ye.... (Bilge!) Ron, ye were gettin' all worked up, 'n ye, Harry, were dancin' 'bout like yer bum was on fire."
"One more pinch t' it, 'n it might have been." Harry mumbled.
Ron glared at him.
"She even had me gaspin'. (Blimey!) This round t' Ginny, I say." Hermione said shakin' her head.
Ron got an vile look in 'is eye.
"Whatever ye're thinkin'... (Dead men tell no tales.) nay." Harry said.
"We can't let her win, Harry."
"Nay, Ron."
"Just a little payback for the way she had ye jumpin' out o' yer skin."
"Nay, Ron."
"In Davy's Grip, Harry?"
"Ye wish."
"Then I say go aft out thar 'n mess aft."
"Ron, ye do realize this be yer baby sister, starboard? (Sink me!) Ye do realize ye're tellin' me t' go out thar 'n put the moves on Ginny, starboard?"
"I trust ye."
Harry rolled 'is deadlights.
Hermione groaned. (Aarhh!) "This be goin' t' end badly."
Ron smirked. (Dead men tell no tales.) "Aye, for Ginny."
Harry groaned 'n took a deep breath. (Aarhh!) He didn't know how in the hell he was goin' t' get through this. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) He further didn't know how he allowed Ron t' talk him into it in the first place.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Harry looked decidedly more calm when he returned t' the booth Ginny was waitin' in. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) She was smilin' triumphantly. (Yo-ho-ho!) She had winked at Tara when she had come in earlier 'n sat with Oliver 'n Draco. (Blimey!) Ginny was feelin' very sure o' herself.
Until Harry slid into the space next t' her instead o' across like before. (AAARRHH!!!) Her deadlights widened a bit fearfully before she closed off her features. (Blimey!) What in the heck was Harry Potter doin'? (AAARRHH!!!) He leaned in very close t' her 'n started... (Arrgh!) smellin' her hair? (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) Ginny's deadlights shot frantically t' Draco's. (Blimey!) He looked like an offended hippogriff - 'bout ready t' charge.
Harry leaned over her a bit more. (Yaaarrrr!) 'is arm moved over the aft o' the booth 'n behind her. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) Ginny started t' panic. (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) Maybe she should not have done this. (AAARRHH!!!) He hadn't said anythin'. (Arrgh!) He just kept givin' her this look. (AAARRHH!!!) This very un-Harry look.
"Sorry I ran off earlier." He whispered in her ear. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) "Won't happen again."
Harry was tremblin' inside. (Arrgh!) He so did not want t' do this. (Aarhh!) In a bold move, he did somethin' he never thought he'd ever do t' Ginny - he let 'is lips graze over her pulse point.
Ginny gasped 'n jumped when she felt Harry's lips on her neck. (Weigh anchor!) Oh nay. (Yo-ho-ho!) She then looked nervously at Fred 'n George, who were scowlin' at Harry intently. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) She looked aft t' Draco. (Weigh anchor!) He was glarin' cutlasss. (Bilge!) He rose slowly from 'is seat 'n started towards 'em with murder in 'is gray deadlights. (Weigh anchor!) Ginny didn't know what t' do. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) Harry was kissin' her neck, 'n Draco looked like he was goin' t' kill 'em both.
She nearly breathed a sigh o' relief when Fred 'n George intercepted Draco before he could get t' her 'n Harry. (Bilge!) They had a little whispered argument, when suddenly Draco's deadlights went wide in some sort o' understandin'. (Aarhh!) Fred 'n George each patted him on the shoulders 'n went t' sit with Wood 'n Tara t' have a better view o' the scene.
As Draco got closer he mouthed somethin' t' Ginny.
He's just messin' with you
She hoped she was the only one who saw. (Aaarrrrhhh!) Ginny's temper flared a bit. (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) Who did Harry Potter think he was? (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) He wouldn't be the lad who lived for long if he thought t' outlast her in a battle o' wills. (Gangway!) She had six older brothers. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) She could stand in the eye o' a storm 'n come out unwinded.
Harry jerked a bit when he felt one o' Ginny's hands go into the aft o' 'is hair. (Sink me!) Oh nay. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) Nay! (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) He could take doin' this if she was goin' t' sit stiff as a statue 'n be all freaked out, but not if she was respondin'. (Shiver me timbers!) He couldn't handle respondin'. (Bloody landlubber!) That's when he noticed both her hands were in her lap. (Blimey!) Harry froze 'n bolted upright a bit. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) Who the bloody hell was massagin' 'is scalp then?!
Draco ground 'is teeth. (Yaaarrrr!) He was doin' this for Ginny. (Aaarrrrhhh!) For Ginny, he kept tellin' himself. (Sail ho!) He was crin'in' as he ran a hand through Potter's hair. (AAARRHH!!!) He couldn't believe the dolt still hadn't figured out it wasn't Ginny's hand on 'is head. (Dead men tell no tales.) Suddenly Harry jerked aft a bit. (Bloody landlubber!) He seemed a little freaked out 'bout somethin'. (Weigh anchor!) Likely the third hand. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) Draco moved in for the kill.
"Ahoy, Potter." He 'issed in a sensual tone usually reserved for Ginny before nippin' the aft o' Harry's neck with 'is teeth.
Draco had never seen anyone move like that. (Sail ho!) Harry screamed loudly 'n scrambled across the table, knockin' the mugs o' butterbeer just every which way. (Sail ho!) Ginny instantly started gigglin' wickedly 'n licked her lips at Harry.
Harry pointed at Malfoy. (Yo-ho-ho!) "Ye... (Aaarrrrhhh!) ye..."
"Find ye undeniably saucy, Potter. (Arrgh!) Aye. (Sink me!) We both do." Draco said with a sneer as he draped 'is arm 'round Ginny. (Aarhh!) Potter looked completely horrified. (Yo-ho-ho!) It was all Draco could do not t' laugh. (Yaaarrrr!) "We want ye t' be the first person we have a naughty sex tryst with. (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) Ye know, just the three o' us."
Harry gaped. (AAARRGGHHH!) Oh me God. (Yaaarrrr!) Draco Malfoy had perverted Ginny. (Gangway!) 'n they... (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) wanted him? (Dead men tell no tales.) Both o' 'em? (Aarhh!) Harry felt sick. (Bilge!) Ron 'n Hermione suddenly became quite visible in the booth next t' 'em that had been seemin'ly empty.
Ron stormed over 'n pointed at Malfoy. (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) "What have ye done t' me sister, ye perverted bastard?! (Dead men tell no tales.) 'n ye licked Harry! (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) Ye're sick, Malfoy!"
"I did not lick him, Weasley. (Shiver me timbers!) I gave a him a little love bite."
Harry went pale. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) Ron started sputterin'.
Draco busted out laughin'. (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) He couldn't contain himself any longer. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) Ginny had been titterin' the entire time. (Yo-ho-ho!) Fred 'n George were howlin' with laughter 'n fallin' all over 'emselves. (Bloody landlubber!) Tara 'n Oliver were doin' a fair amount o' gigglin' as well.
"Ye... (Shiver me timbers!) should... (Yaaarrrr!) see... (Dead men tell no tales.) yer... (The chase is making full sail, matey!) faces." Draco gasped between gales o' laughter.
"Ye... (Aarhh!) ye were kiddin'?" Harry said with more than a little hopeful tone in 'is voice.
"Nay." Draco said somberly as he traced 'is foot up Harry's pant leg.
Harry squealed in horror, pullin' 'is legs up into the seat.
Draco died laughin' again. (Shiver me timbers!) "OF COURSE, I'm jokin', Potter." Draco rolled 'is deadlights. (Aarhh!) "I'd try t' fuck a blast ended skrewt before I'd try makin' it with ye."
Ginny was laughin' so hard now that her deadlights were waterin'.
"Ginny, that was so not very nice. (Bloody privateers!) I'm tellin' mum." Ron said.
"Ye go starboard ahead. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) I'll just tell her what Harry did t' me."
"Ron, ye be not t' owl yer mum 'bout this incident... (Gangway!) EVER." Harry said in an overly even tone.
"What did ye do?"
Harry blushed furiously as Ron glared at him. (Arrgh!) "Ye TOLD me t', Ron!"
Draco sat up a bit. (Bloody privateers!) 'is hand moved from the aft o' the booth t' rest on Ginny's shoulder. (Dead men tell no tales.) "Look, all jokin' aside, that's what ye bilge rats get for tryin' t' mess with me lass's heart 'n mind. (Blimey!) She likes me, 'n ye all can bloody well jump in the damn lake for all I care. (Aaarrrrhhh!) 'n Potter, ye keep yer soddin' lips t' yerself, or I'll thrash ye."
Harry gave a shiver. (Weigh anchor!) "As long as ye keep yers t' yerself."
"Technically, it was me teeth, Potter."
Harry gave another shiver o' distaste.
"But definitely. (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) I will keep me mouth quite far from any part o' ye in the future, o' that ye can be sure." Draco rolled 'is deadlights before lookin' at Ginny. (Yo-ho-ho!) "Which reminds me... (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) I need t' get the Potter taste out o' me mouth."
She blushed darkly 'n leaned up t' kiss him. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) She was still reelin' from the fact that Draco Malfoy had called her 'is lass.
Ron made a grab for 'em only t' be stopped by Fred 'n George. (Man the guns, ye cowardly swabs!) They waited for Ginny 'n Draco t' separate before speakin'.
"Good show, Malfoy." George said.
"Aye." Fred agreed. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) "High marks. (Bilge!) Ye too, Gin. (Yo-ho-ho!) I thought poor Harry was goin' t' shit himself in terror for a moment."
"Ye two were in on this?" Harry snapped.
Fred 'n George just grinned at him.
"Oh thanks a lot." Harry muttered. (Yarrr, more grog, wench!) "Identical bloody bastards."
"Will ye all kindly avast swearin'?!" Hermione snapped.
"Shut her up." Fred sighed starboard before shovin' Ron up against Hermione.
Hermione stumbled a bit, but caught herself. (Bloody privateers!) She was leaned aft over one o' the tables a little with Ron very much leaned over her. (Bloody privateers!) He had used a hand t' catch himself on the table as well. (Yo-ho-ho!) Their faces ended up bein' 'bout three inches apart. (Aarhh!) Her breath seemed t' catch in her throat.
"What?" Ron snapped glarin' at 'is brother.
"Geez, Ron, thick aren't we? (Aaarrrrhhh!) Give her mouth somethin' ELSE t' do."
Ron turned bright red, as did Hermione.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Willow was in their room when Tara got aft for Hogsmeade.
"Hey." Willow said nervously. (AAARRGGHHH!) "Did ye have fun today?"
"Ye have NAY idea." Tara said as she flopped aft on her bed.
Spike the bat started squawkin' at the fact that 'is mistress had not even paid attention t' him as o' yet.
"Needy fella, aren't ye?" Tara said as she rose again 'n grabbed a banana from her small store o' fruit for Spike. (Yo-ho-ho!) She peeled it 'n began feedin' the bat. (AAARRRRHHH!!!) She looked at Willow. (Yo-ho-ho!) "How be ye doin'?"
"Better." Willow sighed 'n sat down on her bed. (Blimey!) "I'm really sorry."
"It's ok."
"It's really not."
"Willow, nobody's even talkin' 'bout it today. (Shiver me timbers!) They understand. (Weigh anchor!) T' whole filthy lot o' 'em loses it every once in a while."
"But I-"
"Enough. (Aaarrrrhhh!) Ye'd be surprised by the support system ye've already got goin' on 'round here."
"But-"
"Willow, ye're gonna be all starboard. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) Nay one's mad at ye. (Gangway!) In fact, poor Ron was all twisted up because he though it was all 'is fault."
"Oh nay." Willow got up 'n started yankin' on her shoes.
"What be ye doin'?"
"I have t' talk t' Ron. (Aaarrhhh, me parrot!) This was so not 'is fault."
"Relax. (Sink me!) It's been taken care o'."
"What?"
"I already talked t' Ron. (Yaaarrrr!) It's fine."
"Thank ye."
"Ye never have t' thank me for lookin' out for ye, Will."
"Thank ye anyway."
Tara smiled. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) "Be ye comin' down t' dinner? (Shiver me timbers!) Oliver missed ye today."
"Oliver? (Aarhh!) But he-"
"He's not mad. (Weigh anchor!) Just a little worried. (Prepare to dance the hempen jig, matey!) Like all o' us."
"All?"
"Why be it so hard for ye t' believe that people care 'bout ye?" Tara paused. (Bilge!) "Despite yer few small flaws."
"I wouldn't exactly call gettin' all hopped up on angry dark magic a small flaw."
"Look, nay more mopin'. (Weigh anchor!) Ye're comin' down t' dinner with me. (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) Then we be goin' t' the Gryffindor common room."
"What?"
"We were invited t' join the Gryffs for a little aft dinner entertainment."
"Ye make it sound so shady. (Sail ho!) Thar's not a stripper, be thar?"
"Would that be a problem for ye?"
"Be it a poppet stripper or a male stripper? (Arrgh!) Not that either wouldn't be ok."
"Ye're very naughty today."
"Can't help it. (Aaaarrrhhh!!!) I spent half o' it in Snape's lap."
Tara gaped.
"Sleepin'!" Willow added with a blush as Anakin jumped on her bed 'n began rubbin' her arm.
Tara laughed as she pulled Willow up off her bed with both hands. (Be ye ready to walk the plank?) "Come on, Naughty Red."
Willow pulled a sweatshirt over her cami fore 'n pajama pants. (AAARRHH!!!) It was an old one o' Xander's that she'd borrowed 'n never returned. (Arrgh!) It was maroon 'n said Sunnydale High School in faded yellow letterin' across the fore. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) It matched her plaid flannel pajama pants perfectly. (Shiver me timbers!) She pulled her hair up into a ponytail 'n followed Tara out o' the room.
"So what happened in Hogsmeade today?" Willow asked as they started down the stairs. (Sail ho!) "I miss anythin' good?"
Tara started laughin'.
"What?"
****
And if you read all of that, I think you need a good walking of the plank.
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Date: 2005-09-19 01:01 pm (UTC)Ron was stuck between wantin' t' slap Harry for actin' like some sort o' hysterical poppet 'n wantin' t' throttle 'is little sister for bein' so brazen.
Lovely.
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Date: 2005-09-19 03:36 pm (UTC)Thena
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Date: 2005-09-19 04:13 pm (UTC)The funniest thing happened at dinner...three guys showed up dressed as pirates and had been apparently, talking "pirate" all day. My little post on my xanga about this gets around quick. Yay me.