fic- Wicked Noise

[spankerella]

title: Wicked Noise
author: echo
rating: 15 (language)
disclaimer: Not mine. Whedon's and Rowling's.
summary: Peace and quiet in life are a myth when you're a Slytherin... only because you know other Slytherins.
shout: For geminilove_ca. Prompt words: calendar, wooden spoon, camera, flushed, and star.

*~*~*

"So it's true. You finally tricked him into marrying you. This is excellent. You're officially a star in the slightly evil underworld. You have seduced the wicked and made him yours."

Willow tensed a bit. Someone was in her bedroom. Someone besides her husband. She reached over to his side of the bed.

"Oh, he's not here. He's dealing with his godson."

Her other hand reached under the pillow for the special pocket on the underside of the pillowcase where she kept her wand... a gift from her husband that. She whipped out her little twig and knew without opening her eyes that she'd placed it right at the intruder's pulse point. Warm fingers curled around her wrist slowly.

Willow opened her eyes.

"Hullo, Mummy."

Willow glared and snatched her wrist out of his hand. "Blaise, get out of my room."

He made a pouty face at her.

Willow twirled her wand in her fingers. "You know I don't actually need the wand. It just focuses the damage a bit more. I really don't even have to speak out loud, but of course, you know this."

"You are so deliciously wicked." Blaise licked his pouty and not at all unattractive puffy man lips. "Are you sure you don't fancy a younger bloke?"

"Get out."

"Wil...low..."

"Get out of my bedroom, Zabini." Came another voice.

Willow leaned around where Blaise was sitting on the edge of her bed to look at her husband. He was looking very severe with Draco peeking around him. Draco was grinning like an idiot. But Draco tended to grin like and idiot when his godfather was upset or even slightly miffed.

"Blaise and I just wanted to check that you were all right. That Snape didn't boil you up in a potion or something. Eat you... whatever."

"Oh I think there was eating, Drake." Blaise quipped. "Look at her face."

Willow giggled. Severus Snape, her husband, turned and glared at Draco Malfoy. Draco just grinned wickedly. He was good at that. Snape's severe face has as much effect on Draco as it did on the Mrs. Severus Snape.

Willow presented her arms widely. "As you can see, no boiling."

"But there was eating?" Draco asked.

"That is none of your affair, Malfoy!" Snape snapped.

"Might need to pull back the covers and check for boiling scars or bite marks." Blaise said with an equally wicked grin. He reached for the edge of the blankets.

"You will lose your hand if you dare to touch my wife, Mister Zabini." This was said through clenched teeth.

"Can you all excuse me a little bit, so I can change out of my jammies?"

Draco made a face. "Did you just call your pajamas jammies?"

"Oh don't mind us, Mum." Blaise said. "You go on and change out of your jim jams."

"Zabini..."

"Oh leave off it, Blaise." Draco snapped. "She's married to the git. She'll never cheat on him with you. I think she actually fancies him. I mean, she'd have to, right? She married him. Out of all the Slytherins in all the Firewhiskey joints in all the wizarding world she chose the most cantankerous of them all. The man with the crankiest pants in the whole soddin' world."

Willow giggled. She sort of loved it when Draco and Blaise got going. It comforted her. It was a bit like watching Spike and Angel verbally tear into one another. Funny that Slytherin ways reminded her of Aurelius vampire ways. She was a brilliant ray of sunshine in the Slytherin dungeon, but she could be just as wicked as any of them, and they knew it. That was likely why Draco and Blaise had all but pounced on her as soon as she and Sev returned from their honeymoon. She'd be willing to bet they'd marked the days off on a calendar. She was very popular with them. Very popular. Blaise was forever flirting with her, and Draco, for all his spoiled brattiness, honestly seemed to like her company. Orphans of the War with Voldemort. Almost adults but not quite.

"We're going, Red." Draco offered, pulling Blaise with him. "Don't be long though. We want to hear all your news."

Willow smiled at the two of them as Draco hurried them from the room. They were almost cute. Her husband looked less amused by it.

"Now, Sev..."

"Bloody hell. Not even back a day, and here come those two. Like regurgitation."

"I think it's adorable."

"Of course you do." He snapped. "It's obnoxious, so of course you like it."

"Oh, you like it too."

"I most certainly do not." He protested.

"It's kinda cute how much they like you. Don't you think it's kinda cute?"

He scowled at her. "It's not me they like."

"Don't be so sure, Bitchy Britches."

His response to that was to glare at her quite meanly. Little did he know that such glares had the opposite effect on her, her being Mrs. Potions Master now.

*~*~*

Once she was appropriately dressed, Willow entered the living area of the little cottage she and her Sev would be calling home. She was just in time to see a body tumble from the fireplace. What astonished her was the quickness with which her husband and his two wards had their wands on said tumbling body. It sputtered and shook out its long brown hair. It's very familiar long brown hair.

"Dawnie?"

She looked up with a sooty face. "Hey, Willow. Heck of a landing, wasn't it?"

"What are you doing here, Dawn?"

"Well, Buffy's being all watcher's council-y with Giles and everyone's busy and I knew you'd be back today, so I thought-"

"You'd pay a visit." Blaise offered in and overly cheery and un-Blaise-like tone.

Dawn grinned at him. Then she noticed Severus. "Oooo, Sev, hi!"

He gave her an irritated look.

Draco was glaring as well. "Who is this muggle dirtying the floor?"

It was Willow's turn to glare. "This is Dawn. One of my very good and dear friends. You will be nice, or I will beat you to death with a shovel, Draco Malfoy."

"Draco Malfoy?" Dawn asked getting to her feet.

Draco seemed to bristle. It might have been because he wasn't much taller than her. Might have been that anyone knowing his name lately had not ended well. "What of it?"

"I know everything about you."

Blaise snickered.

Dawn looked at him. "So you have got to be Blaise Zabini. Oh, this is so cool. Like an Elvis siting or finding Jesus on a tortilla."

Snape snickered then and attempted to hide it rather unconvincingly with a little cough. Dawn Summers was an odd duck.

"How do you-" Draco began.

But Dawn cut him off by grabbing his arm excitedly. "I'm a watcher. I also swing a mean sword. I fought. In the war, I mean, but I've helped avert a few apocalypses too. You guyses were spies in this whole Voldie thing. I was so hack 'em up with my big old scary sword girl on the actual battlefield. In fact, your boy Sev here saved my life. My sister's a senior slayer. Buffy Summers. Have you heard of her? She's short and blonde."

"The scary brute muggle. Ah yes."

"What a perfectly appropriate description of my sister. I knew I'd like you."

Draco had a look on his face that suggested he did not know whether to be horrified or flattered.

"Why don't the three of you go out somewhere neat like Diagon Alley and let Severus and I have some grown-up time?" Willow suggested.

Blaise wrinkled his nose. "You're going to shag, aren't you?"

"Oh gross!" Dawn said. "Willow."

Draco was moving towards a horrified face now.

"Perhaps." Willow said. "We JUST got back last night. We're married. Married people do that, you know. Run along for a few hours, and boys, you had better watch out for Dawn and keep her out of trouble. There's wooden spoon beatings if you don't."

"Is that a promise?" Blaise asked.

"Willow!" Dawn whined.

"It is Tuesday."

"Point taken." Then she fished something out of her bag slung over her shoulder. It was a little disposable camera. "Smile!" She called to Willow and Snape.

Willow smiled. Her husband glared. Meanly. Having pictures taken of him was not Severus Snape's favorite.

But he did have an arm around his wife.

*~*~*

Since Dawn could not apparate, Draco was quite miffed at having to floo to the Leaky Cauldron. Blaise didn't care. It was all big fun to him. He was feeling good about Willow trusting himself and Draco with her friend Dawn. Draco didn't remember, but Blaise did. Dawn had been mentioned before. She was important to Willow. Blaise set her up to walking between he and Draco. It was just daring someone to try something. It was also creating quite a stir because everyone knew who they were but they didn't really recognize the girl walking between them.

They paraded her EVERYWHERE. After a bit, Draco got into it. Dawn was rather infectious and had a bit of a bite to her. Especially when they ran into Mrs. Nott and she had a few choice things to say until Dawn stepped up and told the woman to "bring it". Blaise wasn't sure what Mrs. Nott was supposed to bring, but for her wispy frame, Dawn certainly took a muggle fighter's stance with her threat. The funniest part was when Percy Weasley stepped up and asked Dawn if Mrs. Nott was bothering them and did he need to alert the Aurors. Dawn seemed to know the pompous windbag. He bristled when she said her sister said for him to call her.

And then Marcus Flint stepped up creating the ultimate tension.

"Malfoy, Zabini, who's your little friend?"

"I'm Dawn Summers." She said, holding out her hand.

Blaise snatched it back. "Don't touch him, sweet. You don't know where he's been."

"You're one to talk, Zabini."

"Piss off, Flint."

"Flint?" Dawn asked. "Marcus Flint? No way."

Marcus was looking at her oddly, then flashed some spectacular teeth.

"What in Merlin's beard is that rubbish?" Draco snapped.

Percy was still standing there looking uncomfortable and ready to snatch Dawn away at the first signs of trouble.

"What?" Marcus asked.

Dawn piped in. "He took a hex to the face. They had to re-grow his choppers, so why not give him real pretty teeth?"

"How do you know that?" Marcus snapped, looking a bit suspicious.

"Oh, I know everything about you."

Draco looked at her. "You're sort of creepy with that, did you know? Who else do you know all about?"

"Anyone who was with Snape."

"Why?"

"Because Willow loves him. She's been burned before, and I wasn't having it this time."

"And if you'd found any of turn-Slytherins to be... lacking? Beat us to death with a shovel?"

"Oh no." She grinned sinisterly. "You would have woken up on fire. Not that I can't beat you to death with a shovel, but lighting folks on fire's more my style."

"Oh, I like you." Marcus offered.

Dawn did her best pep squad impersonation complete with hair flip. "Super. I like you too."

"Well, if everything's all right then." Percy said, sounding awkward.

"Yes, yes, Weasley." Marcus snapped. "Run along."

Dawn reached around and slapped Marcus up the back of his head. "Be civil."

The look on Flint's face suggested no one had ever dared to hit him outside of the Quidditch pitch.

"Thank you, Percy. Please stop by the Council. The girls would like to see you. Especially Buffy. If you're the Council to Ministry liaison these days, don't you think you had better liaise? You wouldn't want my sister to come looking for you because she thinks you're being all avoid-y because of one little old kiss because the world didn't end, would you?" She smirked at him in a manner that would have made any Slytherin quite proud. "I thought not."

Percy flushed dark pink and nodded at her politely. "Thank you, Dawn."

He apparated abruptly, but not before she snapped a picture of him looking all pink and embarrassed.

"That was... just... mean." Blaise said.

Dawn snorted. "No, what's mean is the rest of us having to put up with those two dancing around each other like they didn't try to eat each other's faces after old Moldywart, or as my sister liked to call him... Voltron, got his. If I have to lock them in a room together, I so will."

"I didn't say I didn't like it."

She sighed then. "Have we stayed away long enough? I really want to catch up with Willow and annoy Sev some more."

The group of them headed back to the Leaky Cauldron to head "home". Marcus had opted to join the group, as he found Dawn "slightly wicked and utterly fascinating". Draco and Blaise were a bit disgruntled at having to share THEIR Dawn now, as they had grown a bit fond of her already, but Marcus could be very disagreeable when he did not get his way, so they let him tag along.

Besides, who'd mess with them now? Even with his new teeth, Marcus was scary.

*~*~*

Willow leaned up and placed a sweet little kiss on the tip of her husband's nose. He scowled furiously at her and rubbed his nose as if she had tainted him. She had though, and no amount of nose-rubbing would undo said taint. He was well and caught by her. Funny how two years ago he had thought he had nothing. Now he had a wife and was the guardian, sort of, to two of the most irritating Slytherins to ever graduate Hogwarts. The two of them were well old enough to be on their own. He pretended to not like it. Truth be told, it was sort of comforting to be responsible for people outside of a classroom setting. He had wards. He could also look forward to his wife's friends dropping by at all hours, as quite a few of them had not figured the time change when they were in places not England correctly thus far.

He didn't mind Dawn. She was actually clever. Resourceful too. He just hoped Malfoy and Zabini were not getting her into trouble. She had a knack for it all on her own. Add those two perverts into the mix and who knew what might happen. He should not have let Willow send them off by themselves. It was tricky. Granted he had wanted more alone time with his wife, but now he was beginning to worry. They had been gone for an awfully long time. What if someone had hexed them? What if Draco was in St. Mungo's again? What if one of those Death Eaters the Ministry had yet to round up had found him? Or Blaise? Or both of them? What if they'd been hexed and Dawn had been hurt trying to help?

"What are you worrying about?" She whispered.

"I'm not-"

Her fingertips touched his furrowed brow. "Oh?"

"I despise you."

"You do not. You love me. I'm your sexy little snuggle bunny."

"Yes, do keep up with your sugary sweetness. My vomit all over you will be quite sexy."

Willow giggled.

The corner of his mouth twitched. He would not smile. He wouldn't. She was right though. He did love her. More than anything ever. He didn't know he could feel such towards a person. Especially one like her, but she wasn't all sweetness and light. He'd seen that firsthand. It was the first inkling of her rage, that first dip into the darkness within her that had utterly broken his walls. She had infinitely more wickedness within than he. She could have been Voldemort's equal. She chose not to be. She kept her darkness at bay. He'd only thought he waged war with his good and evil until meeting her. He had little tiffs. She waged war within.

There was a crash followed by riotous laughter from the living room.

She rolled out of their bed and grabbed some clothing. Severus groaned. He was not ready to share. She was his. HIS. Couldn't he have a bit more alone time here? After all, they'd only been married little over a month. Married. Something else he never thought to be. He was relieved that Draco and Blaise were all right by the sound of them, and obviously Dawn was all right by association. With his worry subsided, he wanted alone time again. It was not to be just now though.

"Better put some clothes on, sweetie. I think the kids are home."

His lip curled back. Damn Malfoy and Zabini.

When he finally was suitably dressed, Severus moved slowly into the living area. He smirked at the scene before him. Draco and Blaise were sitting companionably closed and they kept hitting, nudging or pinching the other. Dawn was curled up in Blaise's lap with her long legs stretched into Draco's lap. The three of them looked like three wicked peas in a pod. Wicked because with a Malfoy and a Zabini there, how could they be anything but? Marcus Flint was surprisingly there and trying to snatch Dawn's shoes off her feet for some devious reason, no doubt. Willow was sitting in the nearby chair and laughing at their antics. She was just saying something about being glad that Dawn had made some new friends even if they did so happen to be three of the most wicked boys to ever graduate Hogwarts.

It was nice to see his former students able to be so easygoing about anything.

"There are going to have to be rules." Severus started.

Everyone looked up at him. He was leaned against the door frame with his arms folded across his chest.

"Rules?" Draco asked while wrinkling his nose.

"Yes, Mister Malfoy. Rules. Not your favorite subject, I know, but you lot just can't come spilling out of the fire place or apparating in any time you like."

Just then another body came tumbling out of the fire place.

"Bloody everlasting hell!" Snape snapped.

The body hopped to its feet with a spryness that could only belong to a slayer. "Nope, super-goth, just Faith."

"Faith." Willow squealed.

Snape rolled his eyes as the two women hugged.

"What are you doing here? Not that I mind."

"I mind." Snape growled. "Why are you spilling out of the floo unannounced?"

Faith made a 'you wanna throw down, buddy?' face at him.

Willow grabbed her arm and steered her to the chair. "Ignore Sev. He's just cranky cos we've had lots of visitors and our snuggle time got interrupted a bunch today."

"Bloody hell."

"Snuggle time?" Draco asked, looking properly horrified.

"Shut it."

"B got a visit from Perce, and they were being all gross, so I had to bail, yo." She turned and noticed Marcus then. "Hey you."

"Hello yourself."

She cocked her head to the side and studied him. "You get new teeth?"

"I did."

She nodded in approval. "I like them."

"Thank you."

"Uhhhh." Draco was looking as if he might vomit. "Marcus, why don't you and Faith run along and ogle one another at places other? I've enough of it with Snape and Willow here."

"This isn't your home, Mister Malfoy." Snape all but hissed. "If my ogling or the ogling of Mister Flint or Miss Lehane troubles you, you could always remove yourself to places other."

Faith looked at Dawn with a grin.

"Told you." Dawn said.

"For real." Faith said. "I could taste the acid in the air."

Snape's lip curled back.

"Ok, everybody, good night. It's time for Sev's nap." Willow said as she began ushering everyone to the fireplace.

"Where are we supposed to go?" Draco whined.

"Oooo! Let's go bug Angel!" Dawn offered.

"Who in the bloody hell in Angel?" Blaise snapped.

Faith grinned. "Excellent idea, D."

Their was a whirl of talking some deciding on who would go first, then with the roar of the fire due to floo powder, they were all gone, and it was just Willow and Severus alone in their cottage. She turned and smiled at him.

"Will it always be so?" He asked a bit wearily.

"We can hope."

He let out a rude snort, but he did hope. As much as he'd thought he wouldn't like the noise after having a lifetime of mostly quiet, he liked the noise.

*~*~*

end

Comments

[kira-snugz.livejournal.com]

oh dear! thats freaking awesome. love the dawn/blaise/malfoy interaction.
now i have all sorts of threesome plot bunnies dancing in my head.

[jo_anne_storm]

*snicker* That was hilarious!

[chinaraven.livejournal.com]

Absolutely delightful! I always get a big grin from reading your work.

[pyrobear.livejournal.com]

That was very amusing and made me giggle. Always good entertainment for being in the middle of a thunderstorm.

[geminilove-ca.livejournal.com]

YAY!!!

I always love your Draco and Blaise snark.

[emony2.livejournal.com]

Oh, that was fantastic. Much love for this fic *grins*

Em

[tsorriana.livejournal.com]

giggle...so good. your funny dear.

Mammasis

[dr-chaosti.livejournal.com]

Gotta love the Blaise/Draco interaction, especially with good old Sev thrown in the mix.

Kudos to you for it!

[empressvesica.livejournal.com]

The traveling annoyance squad - I like. :D

It's always a joy to read you writing Slytherins. You give them such wicked charm. Very nicely done - as always.