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spankerellaNot dead or anything. Happy Valentine's Day, bitches!
I've been kinda emo about this whole diabetes and blood disorder thing. Didn't figure anyone would like to read me whine about that, so no posting. I haven't written ANYTHING since right before I went to the hospital. That's the most disturbing thing for me. I have PLENTY to work on. Nothing. No sparks. No inspiration. No muse. Damn. Two weeks (I think) and no words. I haven't gone this long without writing SOMETHING in well over five years. It's a little scary.
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tthjinni, star1sar, and orion777, please check the user info for your LJ. *wicked grin* I got you guyses something.
In other news, puppy Draco is a little turd. I adore him. My mom hates him which makes me love him all the more. She's really been pissing me off lately. I love my mom, I do, but DAMN, can she cut me just a little slack? Not a lot, just a little. She is so pissed that I am going out tonight. She's "so tired of me going out all the time". WtF? What's all this "all the time" shit? I go to work. I go to the grocery store. I went on Sunday to my Dad's for lunch. I've been to Petsmart for puppy supplies. And yes, I did go out on Saturday with B, Mel, and T, but I was home relatively early, and that outting included getting a tee shirt for Draco that my mom insisted I get for him. I am the "I'm on it" girl. I have to be with her. She has always expected more of me than ANYONE else EVER, and it's starting to take a toll on me big time. I mean, we didn't always get along as well as we do now, and anyone who has met my mom thinks she's such a fun-loving person. Yeah, that's what she shows you guys. I get the moody bitch who can never be satisfied with what I am doing. I know she's upset about having to retire, but shit, you know? My mom's the sort who doesn't like to be idle. Well, you know what? I don't like having to be responsible for all the bills and the shopping and keeping the doctors' appointments straight and having to deal with, OH, EVERYTHING. But I deal. My mother is such a non-dealer sometimes. She bottles it all up and unleashes on me because I'm there. I know half her frustration isn't with me, per se. I know it has a lot to do with my brother, but damn. DAMN. all this lately makes me hate my brother a little bit more for being in jail. I feel like I am drowning and fate keeps throwing me rocks to hold onto. He could take some of the heat off of me if he were here and not in jail, but on the upside of his being there... they're making him take anger management therapy... which he desperately needs. And this place is also big on drug rehabilitation. Which he also totally needs. If it turns him into a human being, it's wroth it to me. But meanwhile, right now, currently, I'm very overloaded. Too many hats to wear. I'm starting to forget to do things just because I have too much to remember to do. Does that happen to anyone else? It's crazy. I'm crazy. I want to be off of work RIGHT NOW. Still an hour to go though. Dammit.
I've been kinda emo about this whole diabetes and blood disorder thing. Didn't figure anyone would like to read me whine about that, so no posting. I haven't written ANYTHING since right before I went to the hospital. That's the most disturbing thing for me. I have PLENTY to work on. Nothing. No sparks. No inspiration. No muse. Damn. Two weeks (I think) and no words. I haven't gone this long without writing SOMETHING in well over five years. It's a little scary.
tthjinni, star1sar, and orion777, please check the user info for your LJ. *wicked grin* I got you guyses something.In other news, puppy Draco is a little turd. I adore him. My mom hates him which makes me love him all the more. She's really been pissing me off lately. I love my mom, I do, but DAMN, can she cut me just a little slack? Not a lot, just a little. She is so pissed that I am going out tonight. She's "so tired of me going out all the time". WtF? What's all this "all the time" shit? I go to work. I go to the grocery store. I went on Sunday to my Dad's for lunch. I've been to Petsmart for puppy supplies. And yes, I did go out on Saturday with B, Mel, and T, but I was home relatively early, and that outting included getting a tee shirt for Draco that my mom insisted I get for him. I am the "I'm on it" girl. I have to be with her. She has always expected more of me than ANYONE else EVER, and it's starting to take a toll on me big time. I mean, we didn't always get along as well as we do now, and anyone who has met my mom thinks she's such a fun-loving person. Yeah, that's what she shows you guys. I get the moody bitch who can never be satisfied with what I am doing. I know she's upset about having to retire, but shit, you know? My mom's the sort who doesn't like to be idle. Well, you know what? I don't like having to be responsible for all the bills and the shopping and keeping the doctors' appointments straight and having to deal with, OH, EVERYTHING. But I deal. My mother is such a non-dealer sometimes. She bottles it all up and unleashes on me because I'm there. I know half her frustration isn't with me, per se. I know it has a lot to do with my brother, but damn. DAMN. all this lately makes me hate my brother a little bit more for being in jail. I feel like I am drowning and fate keeps throwing me rocks to hold onto. He could take some of the heat off of me if he were here and not in jail, but on the upside of his being there... they're making him take anger management therapy... which he desperately needs. And this place is also big on drug rehabilitation. Which he also totally needs. If it turns him into a human being, it's wroth it to me. But meanwhile, right now, currently, I'm very overloaded. Too many hats to wear. I'm starting to forget to do things just because I have too much to remember to do. Does that happen to anyone else? It's crazy. I'm crazy. I want to be off of work RIGHT NOW. Still an hour to go though. Dammit.
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Keep your chin up
Date: 2007-02-14 11:21 pm (UTC)I recently went through my own blood problem in that I had so little blood in my body, the doctors couldn't believe I was cognizant.
Fell better soon and enjoy your Draco. I'm thinking about getting a cat and calling him Logan.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 12:42 am (UTC)We could feed your muse fake-o imaginery chocalate ^_^
Or maybe we could use "Love" to feed it ....
Have you thought about joining a support group for diabetics ? You would be able to interfact with people who have gone through what your'e going through. I know there is some on this list but sometimes face to face is better. Maybe even a writer whos lost then found her muse after the "I have diabetes now" crisis has passed
no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 02:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 03:41 am (UTC)And Echo, you are loved. Keep on rockin', sweetie.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-15 02:36 pm (UTC)I'm sorry your mom isn't being the most helpful and understanding she can. I know what it's like to go crazy over everything and forget things cause you have so much to do. Mine is because of the three kids and other mother/wifey things I have to do But it's still frustrating when you forget even the simplest thing and then you have people (your mom or my husband) bitching at you cause you forgot something so simple.