good dialogue

[spankerella]

Two instances of proof that the people you know can be the best source of material...

One: I was talking to my Grandmother and she was telling me about my job-less cousin and his new girlfriend. Said GF has gotten a settlement from an on-job injury she got a while back.

Gran: I think your cousin is a (said like gigabite) gig-a-low

me: *is confused*

Gran: He just latches onto women who have money. He only hangs about women who have money.

me: *realizes Gran has substituted definition for gigolo with gold digger and is also pronouncing gigolo wrong*

The funny here is that said cousin is about the least suave person EVER, and when I think gigolo, I think Richard Gere in American Gigolo. He was suave and charming.

Two: So certain people in our house have new girlfriends, and Jasper doesn't exactly get along with said girl. At all. So J and I were watching some TV last night, and we get this...

girl: Do either of you have any tampons?

me: *shakes head no*

Jasper: Lemme check. *goes and checks* *comes back with one* Oooo, you are so in luck. I had one left.

girl: One? You don't have more than one?

Jasper: How many holes you plannin' on pluggin' up?

girl: You're so gross.

Jasper: And you're the one askin' for more than one tampon like you got two vaginas or some sh*t.

Yes, it's disturbing and vulgar, but I am finding a place for the two vaginas line in a story somewhere. Because I think it's funny. It was all I could do not to laugh. Especially because she said it in that droll and bored tone of hers.

The best and funniest part of this is that Jasper actually has like a whole damn box of tampons in her room. She just didn't want to provide said girl with "something all women should be able to provide for themselves".

Comments

[empressvesica.livejournal.com]

I like Jasper...runs off to friend. ~EV

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

She's a terror.

[houses7177.livejournal.com]

snerk- those are both just classic.

[norwegianne.livejournal.com]

The tampon bit was the best.

Though, the grandmother was quite typical. Mine's like that as well.

Real life conversations can be quite amusing at times, if you think about it.

[goddessvicky.livejournal.com]

Send that girl over to my place. I don't have any feminine products of any kind because my awesomely awesome birth control makes no need for it. My girl friends always come prepared because they know I don't have any.

[greeneyedtengu.livejournal.com]

Oh that's terrific... the tampon thing was bordering on classic 'cause who the hells asks for more than one anyway? Oy.

[pinchofthyme.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Jasper sounds very funny. Sounds a bit like my friend Melissa.

Congrats!

[(Anonymous)]

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TTFN,
Kamali

[madannekidd.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

Jasper's classic. God, I wish I had a friend like that.

I can only imagine Faith saying that. I just can't think of someone else who would be more perfect for that quote.

[wiseguru.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA! That was a classic quote, I had sudden images of male tampons now for some reason. (I've just come from lots of slash. I bet they're more comfy then butt plugs!)

[lizey.livejournal.com]

Oh, the second one's sounding funny and way too familiar. I've got a semi-friend who's incredibly irritating, and half of our group sits around taking potshots at her. If this girl's anything like the one I know...love Jasper's work.