well... I suck

[spankerella]

Well, I just got the reformat and first editing suggestions on "In Shadowside" back. I feel like shit now. I think I'll go curl up somewhere and cry for a little while. I know I shouldn't take it so personally, but... who the hell did I ever think I was that I could do this? I know I don't suck. The person even said I don't suck, but I feel like I suck as writer right now. There are so many things that need to be "changed". Most of it I agree with. But a few things made me upset. Obviously. I so should not have read a serious critique of the closest work to me first thing when I woke up.

I really do need to excuse myself to go cry about it now. Sorry for being such a big baby.

eta: I know I'm being ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. I can take my lumps. I'm not looking for an ego soothe here. I just picked the wrong time to try to take my lumps, is all. I get upset about things... and a lot of the upset has to do with uncertainty in other aspects of my life. Then the one thing I thought I could count on... I doubt that now. I'm not a fortress. I'll buck up and do what needs to be done though. Just not today. It's just hard not to doubt yourself when you read a whole long email about how wrong you've been doing things.

*

Comments

[shy-loudmouth.livejournal.com]

Hey, I've read part of "In Shadowside" (didn't get to finish it before you took it down, though... :-/), and I think it's great. When I first heard you were getting it published I started looking for it every time I went to a bookstore (clearly I have no concept of how long it takes to get novels published). As soon as I can, though, I'm absolutely going to buy it!

So don't get down on yourself because of some editing suggestions...'cause they can only make you better (and you're already great...or at least there's very many people who think so). Feel free to have yourself I good cry (I probably would, too), but know that you've got a whole lot of people who love your work already and idolize you because of it.

I know I for one have never been one to take criticism well (even the constructive kind), so I can totally understand where you're coming from. Seriously, someone left a review to my fic the other day telling me that Snape seemed a tiny bit out of character because of one line he said, and my stomach just plummeted and I felt rather crappy for a while. I know that people criticize in order to help you, and I'm even one who asks for constructive criticism. But when someone gives it to you...it hurts. Even if it's just about a stupid little thing (as it was in my case). That said, you have every right to feel bad (being in the situation you're in), but in another way you don't (because you're such a good author that you shouldn't be questioning your writing abilities).

Good luck and feel better!

Meanwhile, I'll try to cut back on my parentheses abuse...