well... I suck

[spankerella]

Well, I just got the reformat and first editing suggestions on "In Shadowside" back. I feel like shit now. I think I'll go curl up somewhere and cry for a little while. I know I shouldn't take it so personally, but... who the hell did I ever think I was that I could do this? I know I don't suck. The person even said I don't suck, but I feel like I suck as writer right now. There are so many things that need to be "changed". Most of it I agree with. But a few things made me upset. Obviously. I so should not have read a serious critique of the closest work to me first thing when I woke up.

I really do need to excuse myself to go cry about it now. Sorry for being such a big baby.

eta: I know I'm being ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. I can take my lumps. I'm not looking for an ego soothe here. I just picked the wrong time to try to take my lumps, is all. I get upset about things... and a lot of the upset has to do with uncertainty in other aspects of my life. Then the one thing I thought I could count on... I doubt that now. I'm not a fortress. I'll buck up and do what needs to be done though. Just not today. It's just hard not to doubt yourself when you read a whole long email about how wrong you've been doing things.

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Comments

[silverflamemuse.livejournal.com]

Lady E, you so do not suck. I may not be the best spirits boosting-person, but when I read this... the only thing I can say is that, even though they've told you to change things and for the bits you agree with, I guess that's OK even though it hurts, but the things you don't want to change? You could try to negotiate it, couldn't you?

And you're not being ridiculous. It's hard to have your most precious piece be picked and to be told that all these things need to be changed. I know it would be so hard for me to do anything about it for a week at least.

I wish I could help you more, but I really can't. But I'm behind you Lady E, all the way.

-Jez