well... I suck

[spankerella]

Well, I just got the reformat and first editing suggestions on "In Shadowside" back. I feel like shit now. I think I'll go curl up somewhere and cry for a little while. I know I shouldn't take it so personally, but... who the hell did I ever think I was that I could do this? I know I don't suck. The person even said I don't suck, but I feel like I suck as writer right now. There are so many things that need to be "changed". Most of it I agree with. But a few things made me upset. Obviously. I so should not have read a serious critique of the closest work to me first thing when I woke up.

I really do need to excuse myself to go cry about it now. Sorry for being such a big baby.

eta: I know I'm being ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. I can take my lumps. I'm not looking for an ego soothe here. I just picked the wrong time to try to take my lumps, is all. I get upset about things... and a lot of the upset has to do with uncertainty in other aspects of my life. Then the one thing I thought I could count on... I doubt that now. I'm not a fortress. I'll buck up and do what needs to be done though. Just not today. It's just hard not to doubt yourself when you read a whole long email about how wrong you've been doing things.

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Comments

[lizey.livejournal.com]

You've got many strengths as a writer, but as with many talented writers, a good editor will often be able to smoosh your work. This is still all about the writing. This is also about the getting-published, which is of course one of the goals of the writing. But ...ack. Trying not to say 'remember'. Feel extremely patronising, especially given my own reaction to getting the critique of a draft last week. Ow. Plus I'm sure this is mostly stuff you know.

But this is your love thing (hate being probably just as applicable at times). Taking lumps hurts, but it's still writing and you'll come out a better writer with a better novel. And if you get to a point where it looks like you won't, you can back off, although - from my very distant vantage point - that seems unlikely right now. When you're wondering if you're cut out for this, remember that they read In Shadowside and wanted to publish it. And In Shadowside was no fluke.