well... I suck

[spankerella]

Well, I just got the reformat and first editing suggestions on "In Shadowside" back. I feel like shit now. I think I'll go curl up somewhere and cry for a little while. I know I shouldn't take it so personally, but... who the hell did I ever think I was that I could do this? I know I don't suck. The person even said I don't suck, but I feel like I suck as writer right now. There are so many things that need to be "changed". Most of it I agree with. But a few things made me upset. Obviously. I so should not have read a serious critique of the closest work to me first thing when I woke up.

I really do need to excuse myself to go cry about it now. Sorry for being such a big baby.

eta: I know I'm being ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. I can take my lumps. I'm not looking for an ego soothe here. I just picked the wrong time to try to take my lumps, is all. I get upset about things... and a lot of the upset has to do with uncertainty in other aspects of my life. Then the one thing I thought I could count on... I doubt that now. I'm not a fortress. I'll buck up and do what needs to be done though. Just not today. It's just hard not to doubt yourself when you read a whole long email about how wrong you've been doing things.

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Comments

No you don't.

[bitteliten.livejournal.com]

I worked as an editor on 2 books last year.

Your reaction is natural. Is the normal reaction for writers, whether it's their first time getting a book published, or the 10th. And it's a tough process.

In my (very short) experience, the process is most difficult if the book is 'finished' by the time the editor reads it. It's easier if the editor is pulled into the process at an early stage. Most first timers don't get a choice in this.

And please let me add: You don't suck in my opinion. Far from it. You are, along with Davesmom, my favourite fanfic-writer. Your work reflects a productive and skilled craftswoman, with a creative mind, creative powers a great eye for details and a knack for plot design. You are special, a rarity among fanfiction writers, as far as I'm concerned.

Remember that (in addition to language, grammar, flow, wholeness, plot, character consitency etc.) keeping politics, market orientation and target groups in mind is a big part of the editing job. You know this. Sorry. Not my intention to appear educating.

My points are:
1. You are good.
2. Good enough to take what they say and make it even better.
3. If anyone is to succeed as a fulltime writer in here, it's you.
4. Keep up the good work.

Best wishes from Norway.