think pink

[spankerella]

So it's not so bad.

Thank you, ever so, to everyone who swarmed in to wish us hugs or support or prayers in the last 24 hours. It means a lot to me. I think my inbox hasn't been this full since the summer. LOL. And people I haven't even "met" before are leaving their good vibes here on LJ for me. For that, again, I thank you.

Yes, my mother still has breast cancer, and that did not change while I slept... much as I wish it had. We have survived the first 24 hours. Those are probably the worst. Now I can talk a bit more. My mother is going to be ok. Mainly because I don't accept otherwise, but also because her doctors say she is. They believe they caught it early enough. Yes, it's gonna be rough, chemo and all, but they say they look for her to make a full recovery. We've had cancer in this family before. We've beaten it back. It has only defeated one of us... and that was in a time when they did not know anything about cancer. If my cousin can have a tumor removed from her brain and still be kickin' it almost ten years later, my mother can beat this. The thing about the women in my family is when we need to be strong, you can not break us. We may get knocked into the dirt, but we rise. I am prepared to do what needs to be done here. Monday morning I go with my mother to the hospital so she can have her mediport put in and a biopsy done. The chemo will begin soon.

A hearty thank you goes out to goddessvicky who has made a donation in my name to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Words fail me on that one. And thanks goes out to mpants for my pink ribbon icon. If anyone else still feels the need to "do something" or "do more" to help me, I ask that you make a donation to breast cancer research. The first link even takes paypal.

http://www.breastcancer.org/donations_intro_odz.html

http://www.bcrfcure.org/

http://www.komen.org

http://nationalbreastcancer.org/

I know everyone keeps saying there's no hurry, but I am an escapist at heart. Writing will take me away from this drama... even for a little while. So I will get back to the working on the writing in about a week or so. I just need to settle down first.

eta: After reading my email today, I have HAD it. I've had it with fanfiction and archiving my stuff at so many places. Sorry to everyone at FIA and many other archives that I post at, but someone is drudging up all that Cara shite again. I so can not deal with that right now. My fics are coming down. I don't have the energy to deal with this. People who want to read me know where to find me by now. I will now only be posted at my sites, TtH, and Obscurus. If you archive anything of mine, please remove it. Laura, I am so sorry. Will you help me take stuff down?

Also, in light of everything, you know the person who may or may not have copied a bit of "Ab Spiff"? I don't care. I officially DO NOT CARE. I don't have the energy to deal with it, and after everything that's happened in the last 24 hours, I really don't give a shit. And FUCK anyone who thinks I'd send my minions after someone if I wasn't sure. It just doesn't seem that important. Neither does fic anymore. Dammit, I was in a decent mood too (considering) then I had to go start reading my mail. Some people fucking suck, and if you want to think I'm this vindictive witch queen bitch who calls her flying monkeys out at the slightest slight, then do so. I can't stop your thoughts, and yeah, it stings when I see it all typed out, but when it REALLY comes down to it... I don't give a fuck what you think.

I'm getting dressed and going to work. I obviously can't stay here. Also... if anyone else has any "bad" news or severe "putting echo in her place" rants they'd like to give me or even the pointing out of such rants by way of email, can you just hold on to it until after the weekend? I've had about all I can stand already. Definitely reached that quota. Thanks.

*

Comments

[dream-mancer.livejournal.com]

That's wonderful about your mother. You'll pull through. You both will.

And about the asshats. Don't worry about it. I'll scrounge around tonight and try to find all the places they are at. I can remember a few. I'll down the fics at RI tonight, and maybe even update Obscurus, since there will be no new submitted fics there soon.

Do you want me to do anything else? Email a few people about the archiving (and no, I don't mean evil ones) or anything? I'm totally free tonight and have NOTHING to do.

[houses7177.livejournal.com]

Somehow I missed the original post about your mother, or I would have said something. I'm glad they caught it early- and that you seem to be proceeding apace to set things right. We've had lots of cancer in my family as well, so I know how hard it can be not only on the person with the illness, but those around them. I offer you support and sympathy for your ordeal.

As for the fic asshats, fuckem'. Just...fuckem'. No other advice.

[mynuet.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry your mother has to go through this, but I have faith that, if she's anything like you, she'll make it through with a fierceness that will send cancer off screaming into the night. I just caught up with a whole bunch at once, so I'll also say that editing is a bitch, but I completely understand your need to focus on the original stuff, and you've inspired me to dust off the original novel I'd been working on to see if I can make anything halfway decent out of it.

As for FIA, it's totally your choice where you want to archive, and if it's bringing you more grief than joy, I can understand your decision. Let me know if you want to save any of your reviews and/or keep your username and then I can remove as much as you want.

[megh.livejournal.com]

Alternately we could be totally reactive and just turn off reviews entirely. Heh. That'd teach 'em. I mean, if people can't conduct themselves like adults, we can just take away their means to conduct themselves at all.

I really like that idea.
*cackles evilly and goes back to the evil-techy-hidey-hole*

[tsorriana.livejournal.com]

Echo dear;

I am sorry to hear about your mom. I know that she can kick that little demons but though. You know the family will be praying for her and you. You need something, call dear.

As for the asshats as you put it; so don't worry about them or give them any power dear. You got enough on your plate. By the by, kate asked if you need some more music.

[howitzer.livejournal.com]

I'm at a loss for words...just know that my prayers are with you, your mom and the rest of your family. I'm glad that they are starting chemo right away. You have to respect aggressive treatment. Know your enemy, look it in the eye and knock the crap out of it.

Hope

[jojo-sweetie.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about your mom, my grandma had breast cancer to and she pulled threw just fine. And I’m pretty sure your mother will too, you said it yourself that they caught it early. And my dad said (he’s a doctor, specialises in cancers) that when it’s caught early enough the chances of making a full recovery are very high.

I think it’s great that you’re asking people to donate to research foundations…those places really help.

PS never saw you as “a queen bitch who calls her flying monkeys” it sounds to much like something you would see in a movie….the wizard of oz perhaps?

Anyway, I wish you and your mom the best. And let’s hope she gets threw okay, but I’m sure she will.

Lots of love,
-xxx- Jojo

[wiseguru.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear the good new hun. Take as much time as you need to be with her and I'm gonna sign myself up to be one of your minions...wait I already am...

[devildoll.livejournal.com]

It never fails that when you're dealing with something in your personal life, the fandom asshats gotta make it worse. It's happened to me before--I swear they can *sense* when you're least able to deal.

I'm thinking good thoughts for you and your mother. My grandmother had breast cancer twenty years ago and she's still alive and well and cancer-free. I know your mom can do the same.

[angel-allegra.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry about your mom. It's wonderful that she's going to pull through though.
don't worry about the inconsiderate prats of fandom - it doesn't matter what they say.
the best for your mom and your family *hug*

I'm sorry.

[violetaahz.livejournal.com]

I’m very sorry about your mother, but have hope. My aunt had breast cancer and made it. Yes, she later died of lung cancer, but as long as the woman is strong, anything is possible. (They found the breast cancer late, and it had metastasized. She had another two years of living.) My aunt had a mastectomy, but even that couldn’t stop her from being the amazingly strong woman she was. Your mother sounds as if she's cut from the same cloth. Just be there when she’s afraid, angry, and sad. I know it’s hard, and you’ll have my prayers.
I don't know about you, but with my aunt, I got tired of hearing all of the 'I'm sorrys'. I just wanted to scream and pretend it wasn't happening... or demand that they don't be sorry, that they would just fix it... but? That's not possible. And it that’s all people can do… be sorry. Though it might be an idea to get a t-shirt. It stops the annoying,‘what’s wrong’ questions.
Good luck,
~Aahz

[nykohl.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry people can be so wanky all the time. And I'm glad that the docs say your mum is going to be alright. Just take time for yourself right now, and don't worry about us, because we'll all still be fans when you're old and wrinkly and your boobs are sagging to the floor :P

[(Anonymous)]

Echo, I'm so glad that your mother's cancer was caught early. I replied to your last post before I read this one, so some of the things I said before are kind of redundant now.

The women in your family sound much like the women in mine. I hated the movie Steel Magnolias, but the term seems to fit women like us. People think we are fragile and we'll break with the slightest pressure, but underneath the softness we show the world, there's a core that can stand up to anything.

It's amazing how much strength you can find in reserve when you need it most. And I'm sure this will be one of those times. You can be strong for her - I know you have it in you. But know that when your strength starts to falter, you can come back here and there are plenty of us who will give you some of our own strength to carry on.

Gem

[shy-loudmouth.livejournal.com]

I know these are coming a little later than most, but I figure you could always use more so...*sends hugs*

It's GREAT to hear that everything will be alright, though! I'm sure it'll still be tough...but I know you're the sort who will pull through, and your mom will, too.

I just wanted to let you know that I will definitely be keeping you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck!

[mtlwritermom.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*