stupid, overemotional echo

[spankerella]

Ever have a day where you get that one review that just makes your spirits plummet? Because it hits you where it hurts? Ever want to tell people if that's what they really think then don't bother next time? I hate when I let things like this get to me... because it makes me question if people REALLY like things or if they're just saying 'good work' so I'll keep working. That might not make sense. It's like one review erases all the good things.

Echo, you know I adore your work, and tell you so every time I leave a review, but when I read this chapter, I just didn't see the emotion and interaction I normally have seen with your chapters. The scenario is flawless, but I just didn't feel this chapter as I felt the others. It felt like you were putting up this chapter just to make your fans happy... Sorry if any of this sound rude. Keep your head up and your eyes shining..

Much love,
*name removed*

Wow. Thanks for making me feel like total crap about my writing ability. I've only spent the last month writing on that part.

I know I shouldn't let this get to me. My brain is actually saying that, but I just can't help it. I feel like I suck right now. A more rational part of me is saying this is just one person's opinion, but I'm questioning now. Maybe I shouldn't be writing until I'm sure I can again. I have so many ideas, but right now I feel like they aren't good enough.

Gonna go crawl in a hole now.

eta: OK! No hole! I get it. Jesus Christ monkey balls. I'll stop feeling sorry for myself because as far as my writing I have nothing to feel sorry about, but I'm telling you that review HURT MY FEELINGS. Yes, I have feelings. Damn.

eta2: Over it. Pissed off and writing like a demon. The pity party was just busted up by the Cranky Pants police. Feelings = still hurt because I'm offended that someone would even suggest I'd post "partially baked cookies", but the hurt is currently being channeled into some fabulous fic character frustration. No need to comment on the sad state of affairs unless you just want to.

...echo out.

*

Comments

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

First, I know it was an honest review. I didn't say it wasn't. What I said was it made me feel like crap after reading it.

Secondly, I worked on this piece for almost the last month. *I* felt it was right about where it needed to be for the story. It bothered me that someone who obviously thought I did a good job in other areas didn't get what I was going for with it.

Third, I rarely beg. Especially about fic, and I don't use a beta. Ever. I swore I never would again after the first time. That's one I'm going to hold to. It didn't work for me, and there are only a handful of people I'd actually trust now to mull over my work. Most of them are fairly busy doing other beta jobs for other authors and worrying about their own business. I can't ask any more of quite a few of them because they already do so much for me.

Fourth, and this is just *MY* opinion, but I thought it was better than a lot of the stuff I'd written in the last few parts of the story. I don't feel I was compromising my standards. I always want to improve my writing, but I'll be honest, I don't care that much about my fanfiction. Not as much as I care about improving my original stuff.

Fifth, it's VERY difficult for me to look outside my stuff.... because it *IS* me. There's a little of me in anything I write. See why I would take it so personally now? But I think I just offically moved past that.

Whoa.... thanks. You actually just lit a fire under my arse. I think I'm irritated enough to start part 48 of SC now.

[corruptedjasper.livejournal.com]

I think what you have to ask yourself is, what would I think if the editor my publisher pays for gave me that as feedback? From what I read over at Making Light, it's milder (at least in its expression) than the average editor would put it (note: I haven't actually read the chapter yet, so I don't have an opinion on the quality of it). I think it was Neil Gaiman who remarked recently that he routinely accepts 90% of the changes his editor recommends, even if he thinks they're superfluous, exactly because as an author you are always too close to your work to evaluate it dispassionately.

Oh, and re: starting the next part of SC: I can only say 'yay!', although I'm less happy about the 'irritated enough to'.

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

Oh, I already know what I'd do if it were the editor and the publisher... because I've already been there and I'm doing it right now. I already had the flesh flayed from me about my book. It's DIFFERENT when it's my work and not fanfic though. Way different. There's more at stake with original work, so I have to be more open to suggestion there. We reached a compromise. I conceeded to some of their points, others I stood firm on and they conceeded to me. It's a negotiation. I'm open to things like that about getting my material published... because you have to be if you want to be published. I ma too close to my work. Hoo boy, I will be the first to admit that, but I want to share my original work with people more than i want to hold on to ideas that really aren't that imprtant. make sense?

No, no, the irritation is EXCELLENT for the next part because that's what that part needs. I'm hoping it bleeds through the page. That's why I started it today instead of waiting until after the weekend. Had to use what was there while it was fresh.