stupid, overemotional echo

[spankerella]

Ever have a day where you get that one review that just makes your spirits plummet? Because it hits you where it hurts? Ever want to tell people if that's what they really think then don't bother next time? I hate when I let things like this get to me... because it makes me question if people REALLY like things or if they're just saying 'good work' so I'll keep working. That might not make sense. It's like one review erases all the good things.

Echo, you know I adore your work, and tell you so every time I leave a review, but when I read this chapter, I just didn't see the emotion and interaction I normally have seen with your chapters. The scenario is flawless, but I just didn't feel this chapter as I felt the others. It felt like you were putting up this chapter just to make your fans happy... Sorry if any of this sound rude. Keep your head up and your eyes shining..

Much love,
*name removed*

Wow. Thanks for making me feel like total crap about my writing ability. I've only spent the last month writing on that part.

I know I shouldn't let this get to me. My brain is actually saying that, but I just can't help it. I feel like I suck right now. A more rational part of me is saying this is just one person's opinion, but I'm questioning now. Maybe I shouldn't be writing until I'm sure I can again. I have so many ideas, but right now I feel like they aren't good enough.

Gonna go crawl in a hole now.

eta: OK! No hole! I get it. Jesus Christ monkey balls. I'll stop feeling sorry for myself because as far as my writing I have nothing to feel sorry about, but I'm telling you that review HURT MY FEELINGS. Yes, I have feelings. Damn.

eta2: Over it. Pissed off and writing like a demon. The pity party was just busted up by the Cranky Pants police. Feelings = still hurt because I'm offended that someone would even suggest I'd post "partially baked cookies", but the hurt is currently being channeled into some fabulous fic character frustration. No need to comment on the sad state of affairs unless you just want to.

...echo out.

*

Comments

[phaerye.livejournal.com]

I'd like to say that I am a big-time reader. It is actually my favorite thing to do in the entire world.

In any case, you are my favorite author. Just because one person expressed distaste at something you wrote does not mean that their opinion is fact. In all honesty, I have never read something of yours that I didn't like. Your writing style rocks and your stories always amaze me.

Your stories pick me up when I'm down, entertain me when I'm bored, and are just all together wonderful.

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

Well, thank you. I know it's just ONE opinion... but I think what bothered me most is the person thinking I WOULD just toss something up to update and get everyone off my back about it. I think I have a little more integrity than that.

[mpants.livejournal.com]

Crawl back out of the hole. Right now. You know better than this. You do not suck. Like you said, that is just one person's opinion. Do not let it get to you.

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

I know, I know, but you know I don't get over the unimportant things as quickly as I would like. It stung.

[fyrie.livejournal.com]

*hugs some* Some people don't seem to realise how much work and time and effort goes into these things and that often times, single bits of conversation are written over weeks! I would say thwap them, but that would be petty of me.

Hell, thwap 'em anyway.

Let my icon speak for my opinion of this person's view.

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

I *KNOW* you feel my pain. You probably get much the same treatement about certain stories. I think it just bothered me that someone would actually think that I would just post a part to appease.

But I'm now listening to angry music and channeling my irritation into the next part.

[prin-buttercup.livejournal.com]

Buck up, little camper. No hole, no hiding. Just do your thing. Don't worry about what one person said. I know that's easy for me to say, but you always say you can't please everyone. Don't try. You're better that way. Anyone who knows you knows that you would NEVER just update to appease people.

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

Irritated and over it now, J. Thanks. No more pity party. Writing ahoy.

[archerstar.livejournal.com]

Just because one stupid person is just that does not mean that you do not have an amazing writing capability. I would kill if I could just have half the talent that you have. You have this uncanny ability to make everything pull together and make everything work so beautifully. So come on out of that hole and don't let that one stupid person get you down.

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

I know. Thank you. Over it now. Just needed to wallow for a minute or two. I can't be benevolent and grateful for my gifts 24/7. Now and I'm back to being frustrated with the entire world today. Rage Against the Machine and part 48 of SC ahoy.

[quasi-hayley.livejournal.com]

I don't know you and I've only read, like, on of your stories but I think you're a good writer.

I'm not going to say this is just one person's review or whatever because I think this is an excellent, honest review. They're telling you that your writing is fantastic and that this piece is excellent, it's just not heart-felt enough. If I got a review like that I'd be going back to look at it and seeing what I could do to improve it. Then I'd be emailing this person and begging them to beta-read for me.

If something isn't up to your usual standard, wouldn't you rather know? If there's a way you can improve, don't you want to?

I know when you first read something like this it can sound harsh but please, please try going back to your story with an outsiders perspective. Please?

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

First, I know it was an honest review. I didn't say it wasn't. What I said was it made me feel like crap after reading it.

Secondly, I worked on this piece for almost the last month. *I* felt it was right about where it needed to be for the story. It bothered me that someone who obviously thought I did a good job in other areas didn't get what I was going for with it.

Third, I rarely beg. Especially about fic, and I don't use a beta. Ever. I swore I never would again after the first time. That's one I'm going to hold to. It didn't work for me, and there are only a handful of people I'd actually trust now to mull over my work. Most of them are fairly busy doing other beta jobs for other authors and worrying about their own business. I can't ask any more of quite a few of them because they already do so much for me.

Fourth, and this is just *MY* opinion, but I thought it was better than a lot of the stuff I'd written in the last few parts of the story. I don't feel I was compromising my standards. I always want to improve my writing, but I'll be honest, I don't care that much about my fanfiction. Not as much as I care about improving my original stuff.

Fifth, it's VERY difficult for me to look outside my stuff.... because it *IS* me. There's a little of me in anything I write. See why I would take it so personally now? But I think I just offically moved past that.

Whoa.... thanks. You actually just lit a fire under my arse. I think I'm irritated enough to start part 48 of SC now.

[corruptedjasper.livejournal.com]

I think what you have to ask yourself is, what would I think if the editor my publisher pays for gave me that as feedback? From what I read over at Making Light, it's milder (at least in its expression) than the average editor would put it (note: I haven't actually read the chapter yet, so I don't have an opinion on the quality of it). I think it was Neil Gaiman who remarked recently that he routinely accepts 90% of the changes his editor recommends, even if he thinks they're superfluous, exactly because as an author you are always too close to your work to evaluate it dispassionately.

Oh, and re: starting the next part of SC: I can only say 'yay!', although I'm less happy about the 'irritated enough to'.

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

Oh, I already know what I'd do if it were the editor and the publisher... because I've already been there and I'm doing it right now. I already had the flesh flayed from me about my book. It's DIFFERENT when it's my work and not fanfic though. Way different. There's more at stake with original work, so I have to be more open to suggestion there. We reached a compromise. I conceeded to some of their points, others I stood firm on and they conceeded to me. It's a negotiation. I'm open to things like that about getting my material published... because you have to be if you want to be published. I ma too close to my work. Hoo boy, I will be the first to admit that, but I want to share my original work with people more than i want to hold on to ideas that really aren't that imprtant. make sense?

No, no, the irritation is EXCELLENT for the next part because that's what that part needs. I'm hoping it bleeds through the page. That's why I started it today instead of waiting until after the weekend. Had to use what was there while it was fresh.

[brendanm720.livejournal.com]

For as vague as this review was, at least he/she/it was polite and tried to outline what he/she/it thought was wrong.

As for the chapter, I've just re-read it, and I think that the scene in the classroom was very well done. We go from "Raven's" bored lusting after Wes to revulsion from the smell of rot. Dawn's reaction to Glory was spot on, and the portal sucking the offenders away was a nice touch.

The hospital scene could have been fleshed out a little more with descriptions of facial expressions and movements, but I've done enough marathon dialog scenes to know that it's not always practical. (And I've gotten some reviews that said "Hey you really need to have more descriptive stuff going on..." about said marathon dialog scenes)

Personally, I think that you shouldn't let this one review bother you.

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

Just needed to work through it emmotionally. Over it now. Sufficiently irritated enough to write soemthing else now.

[brendanm720.livejournal.com]

That's the Echo we all know and love!

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

Well, I can't be fabulously snarky 24/7.

[brendanm720.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'll give you the snarkage thing. I'm sure that you're fabulous all the time, though.

I can't believe that I just used the word 'fabulous' in a sentance without referring to British Television

Damn it!

[silverflamemuse.livejournal.com]

OK, I know you're over the pity thing, which is good and that your writing is even better. But can I just say that I loved that chapter? Especially the Sev/Lily interaction, that she'd choose such an important time to ask.

And my other point is, you are one of THE best authora I have seen on the net so far. There are are few others that I've seen, but that's only because of the differation of writing styles. Your work is good. I haven't seen a piece of your work that hasn't been written like you've meant it. This person just doesn't see it.

*Jez

Re: Damn it!

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

Thank you. The stuff between Lily and Snape took the longest and had the most rewrites.

About the review... The opinion that the part isn't up to par isn't even really what's bothering me. It's the suggestion that I would post just for the sake of posting. That I would knowingly put something that wasn't ready up.

[wiseguru.livejournal.com]

I'm a big fan of your work, and if I don't like something it's not likely I'll review it. I always review your work because I like it. Pity party might be over, but never lose faith in your writing ability because that's your voice to the world.

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

This self-confidence and beliving in myself thing is a fairly recent development. Like within the last few years. I still have my bad days. I still have this nagging fear that it's all going to come crashing in on my head or something. People usually don't believe me when I say this, but I used to think my friends were just humoring me when they said I was a good writer.

[loonybinluna.livejournal.com]

OY! HEY! I LIKED THAT CHAPTER! back off bucko!
sorry, that was at the review...i strongly disagree.
dont let one little thing get your day down.

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

Well, like I told this person... everyone's entitled to the opinion about it. LOL. Thank you.

[nevcolleil.livejournal.com]

Well, this is just silly. It sounds to me like the reviewer was trying to be constructive, not insulting, but...

didn't see the emotion and interaction I normally have seen.

Hmm. I didn't see anything wrong with the emotion or interaction in this last chapter. (of Snake Charming, right?) In fact, the only thing I see wrong with it, is that it doesn't have more of Wesley and Raven Hope and what's going on with those crazy kids ;p (kidding. I do love the possibilities there, though.) I particularly liked the part where Connor went kicking down the door, and what he said to Ron about being without fruit ;D The image of the kids holed up behind a desk, with Wesley watching over them, and Draco and Harry injured as they battle the Slytherins, is nicely dramatic. And the end leaves us with a bit of a question - where did Pansy and her cronies go? Good work, I'm thinking.

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

Well, thank you.

"Keep your eyes shining"

[(Anonymous)]

Dear Echo,

Truth be told, that reviewer could use a good kick in the pants. She even knew she was doing wrong, otherwise she wouldn't have written that part about the head up and eyes shining. And all I could think about was how she was trying to black your eye/give you a shiner. Granted, I wrote similar reviews myself when I was younger (God, I was so self-righteous. By the time my conscience magically reappeared after years of absence, it was almost enough to make me wish my mother had drowned me at birth). But that doesn't make it easier for the rest of the world to stomach.

I thought I'd just take the time to mention that your writing's worth something. I risk self-righteousness by writing this, but I think your voice is strong, insightful, and thought-provoking. I think it's wonderful. I also think that you've got a lot of young would-be authors looking up to you, wanting to read you, while at the same time being shaped by you and what you write. Your writing doesn't avoid real life; it emulates it, while throwing in a bit of the fantastic to keep us on our toes. So, even though you're over being upset (sorry for digging at something better left healed), I applaud you for continuing to write, despite all of the people who weren't drowned at birth, or at the very least roasted over hot coals, out there. I'm not your friend, so you can't think that I'm just saying this (and after that crack about the coals, aren't you glad you don't know me?). And heaven forbid anyone accuse me of brown-nosing; that went out with JTT way back in the early 90s. I raise my coffee mug to you, and bite my thumb in The Reviewer's general direction. She'll grow out of it.

Have a lovely evening, and my best to you and your mom.

I know you're in our Yahoo Group (BWA) but....

[sue-bridehead.livejournal.com]

Hi, Echo - I cross-posted this over there, but since there are massive amounts of messages there (I can barely keep up with the "flooding"), I hoped you would take the time to read it here:

******

This is an encouraging thought when a nasty review, or a general lack
of reviews on a particular fic, has got you down:

"I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame. I simply
follow my own feelings."

-Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

For me, it's the only way to write or create anything that matters to
your most important critic: YOU. If you did your homework, planned
carefully, and took the time to write it well, then your readers will
be satisfied, whether or not they submit a review. (Heck, they're
*reading* it, aren't they?)

And the nasty reviews? If reviews have nothing positive to offer and
you believe the work has merit, then I say forget them. Those people
are either just hateful, wanted something different than your fic
delivered (such as a different ending), or are too lazy to offer you
constructive criticism - because face it: good, truly helpful C&C
takes time. And a scathing review never helps anyone.

******

Glad you've gotten past it and are ready to rock and roll!

Sue Bridehead