(no subject)

[spankerella]

I took a hot bath with bubbles. Supposed to make me feel better, right? Wrong. I'm waiting for midnight. To start writing the next "great" novel. I just got incredibly sad in the bathtub. I kind of realized something. I've been saying it and thinking it for a while now, but it sort of hit me tonight. Well, because of what day it is. Someone I know that moved away is never coming back. So that portion of my life is really over, and I'm pretty sure I feel shitty about it. I know people get busy and stuff, but not too busy to talk to others, I've noticed. Maybe I should try harder. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself... and I really have little reason to. It's not like this big realization was a shock. It's just something really important is on the verge of happening to me and one of the people I thought would always be there... isn't. And it hurts those feelings some people suspect I don't have. I've been trying to hold on for a while, and now I just feel like an idiot for trying to keep up in a life where I think I'm probably not wanted anymore. *sigh*

Comments

[emeraldswan.livejournal.com]

I usually don't go in for that 'I've been there, I understand' type of scene because every situation is different, but I have been there, and you're right . . . it does hurt. I'm sorry you're having to live through it. I can't offer you anything more than a virtual hug and an ear if you need one, but both are yours anytime.

{{hugs}}
Emmy

[houses7177.livejournal.com]

I think that's one of those distressing realizations that come with getting older. I was fishing out a pitcher to use for dinner the other night that I had been given as a wedding present. I didn't remember from whom until a card fell out and it was from my best friend growing up. I thought we'd be a part of each other's lives forever, more or less, but I don't even know where he lives any more. I could probably track down his parents, but it makes me sad to realize he's gone- all those milestones I thought we'd share with each other are...gone. And it sucks. But it's also something that happens. Time comes and things fracture. It sucks, but it's also rather inevitable.

On that bright and chipper note, dinner next Thursday, Nov. 10? tthjinni and I wish to motivate a shindig.