I'm cold as cold as cold can be... be

[spankerella]

I'm tired in my soul tonight.

Rough as hell day, and tomorrow looks no better for me. The first leg of the nervous breakdown has occured tonight. Two Tylenol PM washed down with some rum and I feel a bit more calm though. Yes, I know. Bad idea. Don't care though. I felt like a little reckless self medicating tonight. At least I stamped down the momentary urge to self medicate with some of Mom's pain medicine. That was an interesting two seconds before I checked myself.

Tomorrow I plan on running with scissors. I'm trapped in a hell not of my making. I have to make my own fun. Oh, just ignore me. Just felt like venting and being overly dramatic. I'm pissed off at the world today. I've been blindsided so many times in the last two months that it's damn good I'm so subborn. Some people would have given up ages ago. You know though, if my life ever starts going smoothly, I'll pee myself in shock.

*sigh*

Comments

[thepadre.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[goddessvicky.livejournal.com]

Take two turns with Draco and call me in the morning, doll. We've all had these days. It sucks big monkey balls that your alottment of said crappy days have all been in the last couple months.

But I have a fortune for you:

"Your future work will be in computers"

::shakes head:: Ok. Not the right fortune. But you know what? I thought of you last night. I saw Evanescence and they played "Whisper" and my first thought was, "This song fits the end fight in Shadowside". I know you had said that before, but I actually saw your characters dancing in their glory up on that stage. It was beautiful.

[emeraldswan.livejournal.com]

{{hugs}}

[jessicakmalfoy.livejournal.com]

hmmm, sounds not so good. *hugs* of course... the tylenol & rum is lovely >:)

and i like your cut quote. i think that's my myspace song.

*more hugs*

[tthjinni.livejournal.com]

Do I need to come kidnap you?

[kira-snugz.livejournal.com]

mega hugs and many internets chocolates for you my dear.

at least i can wish you happy running with scissors, if you trip, make sure they land in other people, not in you.

[buenabuena.livejournal.com]

*squishes you lovingly*

I have new, geek-tastic stickers that I would be glad to send out if you need some snailmail lovies. And if you ever need to just escape for a day, I would always be glad to host you here in Dallas and divert your attention with silly happenings. Just let me know!

I'll be sure to send "get BETTER, dammit, stuff!" vibes your way. Remember to take care of *you* too, okay? Don't let yourself get lost in all of the drama and frustration and exhaustion.

[originalsibling.livejournal.com]

Believe me, I know how you feel. Past few years have been pretty crappy for me, as you probably remember - hell, the past 8 years should have pretty much cleared up any bad karma I could have built up over the past millenium's worth of past lives.

Sometimes, I think all that got me through the crap was the kind of stupid bloody single-mindedness that our Clueless Leader has demonstrated for the past six years. No silly optimism, no trite little "Chicken Soup for the Soul" inspirational thoughts, just a stubborn refusal to let the world beat me. I guess you could call it voluntary temporary testosterone poisoning.

Not sure if this'll help, but sometimes all it takes to get through these things is just to put your head down and bull your way through. Lots of the time, the world will just get out of your way if you give it a mean look. ;-)

Here's hoping your luck turns around...

[spankerella.livejournal.com]

Holy shit.

Is that YOU? Are you back? Now THIS improves my mood greatly. If you're back in fandom, then there's hope. LOL. Good to seen you here, man. Very good. I hope things are looking a little better for you these days. I always kept your other journal friended just in case. Welcome home. :)